I used this site: [ http://wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html ]
to gather these anagrams of my name, PAUL SMITH:
MUST A PHIL... (Must a Phil what?)
A PITH SLUM (Where orange peel with low social status hangs out.)
A SHIT LUMP (One I've known about this one for a while.)
A SHIT PLUM (God knows, there are some crap ones around.)
LUMP A HIT, S. (I tell one of The Presidents of the USA who's called Steve, or something, that their track has sold well in the UK.)
HIT A LUMP, S. (As above, but this time I'm explaining how I accidentally ruined Steve's car suspension.)
THIS, A PLUM (Teaching Tarzan about fruit was no easy task...)
HIT A SLUMP (I know this feeling too damn well.)
A PLUSH TIM (Nice but dim?)
A HUMP SLIT (Now I know why some people call me a c**t...)
A HUMP LIST (Every man should have one. Clare Short isn't on mine.)
THUS I LAMP
A HUT LIMPS
AH, LIMP STU! (I tease Stuart about his impotence.)
LISP TUM. HA! (Shouldn't that be 'Thum'?)
AH 'TIL M.S. UP (Some sort of Microsoft booting thing?)
TIM PLUS A.H. ("Do you mean Tim is bringing Alan Hansen to the party?")
HA. SLUM PIT (What I call my bedroom when I've not tidied for a few days.)
AH ITS LUMP
AH IT'S PLUM (I play a 'guess the colour' game.)
AH SIT LUMP
AH SIT PLUM
AH IT LUMPS
AH IT PLUMS
AH. I.T. SLUMP (I see the future...)
HA, SPLIT U, M (Ouch. We can all feel sorry for M.)
IMP LUST. HA! (Well, it is funny, isn't it? Those horny little devils...)
HA! IMP SLUT (See above.)
I MUST PLAH (I just have to Plah! Twice a day or more if I can...)
HA! MIST UP, L! (I imagine there must be a story here, somewhere.)
HAIL STUMP (I greet an amputee thoughtlessly...)
PALISH TUM (We are friends.)
THAI LUMPS (Bangcok-Lady-Boys breasts?)
THAI PLUMS (Adapt the above all you like.)
THAI SLUMP (A stock market crash due to the number of Lady-Boys around.)
I STUMP HAL (By getting him stuck in a logic-loop in order to somehow open the pod bay doors.)
HAL MIST UP (When you huff on his lens.)
HAL, TIM'S UP (Letting the computer in 2001 - A Space Odyssey know that Tim has got out of bed. Like you do.)
IT 'MS' HAL UP (Explaining why Hal9000 went mad and killed the crew of the Discovery.)
MALTHUS PI (I've just decided to adopt this as my stage name if I ever go into acting.)
LASH TIM UP (And why not, if he wants to be lashed?)
LASH IT UP, M (A James Bond scene that's yet to be written.)
SHALT I PUM? (Yes, I will Pum, and Pum again, no doubt.)
HALT S. I'M UP (No need to come and wake me up, Steve.)
HALT, I'M U.P.S. (I have a package I'll deliver to you, so no need to come and get it.)
HALT U.S. IMP (Bloody American mischievous...etc.)
H, I LAP SMUT (So it's spit sticking the pages together, is it?)
HAM-LIP STU. (An unusual nickname.)
HAM TULIPS (My name if I ever go into making porn films.)
LIST UP HAM (...And add 'prok' while you're at the blackboard, ok?)
HAM PI LUST (We all suffer from this, from time-to-time.)
US LP 'HAM I.T.'(An American album all about why pigs should never be given computers.)
MASH TULIP (Not my idea of a full meal.)
MASH IT UP, L. (Some sort of pop-culture thing? L can big it up later too, if he or she wants.)
SHAM TULIP (Beware of fakes. Real Tulips never have MADE IN CHINA stamped on them.)
HAP, I'M SLUT (I come on to Hap.)
SLUM IT, HAP (My advice to someone called Hap who doesn't like paying for expensive hotels.)
MULTI HASP (Sounds like a handy DIY tool that no man should be without.)
PATH I SLUM (My journey through life hasn't always been an easy one...)
HAS MIL PUT (Has Mil put what? Speak up woman!)
TUM HAS LIP (It's more of a flange really...)
U HAS LIMP, T. (Translation: Have you hurt your ankle, Tom?)
HATS I LUMP (A list of headgear I punch.)
I PLUM TASH (Make up your own for this one.)
HAST I LUMP? (A line of Shakespearian dialogue?)
HAST I PLUM? (A line of Dr. Seuss poetry?)
HA, SLIM UP T. (I suggest Tim goes on a diet.)
HAT US LIMP (I'm not sure I want to know what 'hatting' involves...)
HAT IS PLUM (Ball is red. Dog is brown...etc.)
UTAH LIMPS (Weren't they also known as The KLF?)
ALI THUMPS (At last, a Boxing reference.)
TAMIL PUSH (I guess they do, for self rule, or something.)
HUM SPITAL (Usually due to poor lip control.)
PASTIL HUM (A colour Dulux made from 1970 to '73)
SAIL THUMP (Angry with his rigging, a sailor lashes out.)
LISA T. MUPH (My weekend name.)
HUMPS TAIL (An anal sex reference?)
I SHUT L MAP (And open the M one. Why I can't just have one big map I'll never know...)
MAL, THIS UP (I show Mal which way is up. This makes him happy.)
THUS P. MAIL (Whatever.)
PUSH IT, MAL (Mal's car runs out of petrol a few yards from a station.)
PALM HITS U (Yes, I like spanking girls, it's true.)
I PALM TUSH (And I get slapped for it too.)
THUS I PALM (Some sort of masturbatory confession?)
LAMP HITS U (Judith dropped a torch on my head once... Now it figures.)
I SHUT LAMP (To stop the candle blowing out, presumably.)
I MAP L TUSH (I did spend a long time looking at my exgirlfriend Lorraine's bottom, now that you mention it.)
LAMP IS HUT (It must be a big lamp then, that's all I can say.)
I PALM HUTS (Which would mean I have really big hands for a conjurer.)
HI SPATLUM (How are you, old mate?)
AMPUL SHIT (It's been said before, heaven knows. And before you say anything, I know you don't spell 'ample' like that.)
AMPUL HITS (Am I a future recording star?)
THIS AMPUL (I have enough now, thanks.)
HIT UP ALMS
SLAM HI PUT
SLAM IT UP, H. (My advice to my friend Harry when we're playing Basketball together.)
MALTS HI UP
MAULS PITH
ALUMS PITH (This sounds like a nasty medical condition.)
U.S. HIP MALT (A fashionable new Whiskey-based drink from America.)
MALT HIS UP
I PUSH MALT (And the law can't touch me for it.)
IS MALT PUH? (I don't know. You tell me.)
MUST 'HI' ALP (And I'm forced to say hello to the Pyrenees too.)
PAL HIM STU. ("I suggest you make friends with this fellow, Stuart.")
HIS TUM. ALP. (Who are you calling fat?)
HITS... UM... ALP. ("Do you mean there's been a plane crash?")
HIT ALP SUM
ALP MUSH IT
ALP HUMS IT (This must be the effect of the wind passing through a cave, or something.)
I'M SHUT, ALP. (I know you're a mountain, but that doesn't mean you can ignore the sign on the door.)
I'M ALP TUSH. (Does my bum look big in this?)
THUS I'M ALP (because I eat too much and exercise too little.)
HI SMUT PAL (Greeting someone with whom I often swap pornography.)
PAL HIS TUM ("Hello Gavin's Tum, how are you? I'm Paul. Just let me know if I can help you with anything, ok?"
PAL HUMS IT (And I try to name the tune in three.)
IT'S PAL HUM (What I call the smell a friend leaves in the toilet.)
PAL HUM SIT
I'M TUSH PAL (Getting 'friendy' with a bottom?)
PAL THUS I'M... (...lost for words?)
I MUST LAP H (And I even know a girl called H. It's true!)
LAP HI SMUT
LAP HIS TUM (Given the option, I'd rather not, thanks.)
LAP SHIT, MU (A new take on 'eat shit', as shouted at someone called Mu.)
LAP HIT SUM (Possibly 'newspaper-speak' for a fisty-cuff incident at the UN building involving a Laplander and a Sumatran.)
I MUST LAP H. (I really have no choice in the matter.)
LAP. HUM. SIT. (How not to pleasure a woman.)
I LAP TUSH M.(It's a lie, I tell you.)
I'M ALPS HUT (Who are you calling an alpine ski lodge?)
HI. SLAP TUM. (Try it and get a slap back, buster.)
HI PALS MUT (Saying hello to a friends dog. I know Mutt is two T's. Sue me.)
LAPS HUM IT (Damn those crazy non-singing Eskimos.)
HI... UM... SPLAT. (Saying hello to someone whose name you can't quite remember whist falling off a cliff.)
PLAT HIS MU (I'm not sure what a Mu is, but this sounds very painful.)
I PLAT MUSH (It's a good trick if you can do it. I suspect it falls apart soon afterwards, mind.)
SAL THUMP I (I have been hit by a girl called Sally in the past...)
I THUMP SAL (And then I hit her back. I'm not proud.)
SAL HUMP IT (Your imagination can draw in any blanks.)
SAL HUM PIT (Steady.)
SAL HUM TIP (Yet another thinly veiled sexual technique reference.)
SAL HUP TIM (Andf hup him good this time!)
SAL HUT IMP (An accurate, if unflattering, description.)
HIM UP LAST (This reminds me of being picked for sports at school. Just me and the boy with the one leg, standing there while they argued over him...)
I HUMP LAST (Sloppy seconds? No thanks! - Note: I think I've seen a similar phrase to this on a sticker on the back window of a 2CV.)
SALT HIM UP (Some sort of gangland torture after a shooting?)
I HUMP SALT (...But I always have a good wash afterwards. There may be some medical benefit from this...)
MA, PHIL, STU (Introducing my mother to my two friends, Philip and Stuart.)
AM HIP SLUT (Street jive for "I am a music fan and dress like my favourite singer"?)
HIT PLUS MA (A 'job-lot' killing.)
MA PLUSH IT
(Mother, please make it slightly velvet-like for me.)
A LUSH TIP, M (This might be some sort of horse-racing thing.)
MA PUSH 'TIL... (I'm feeling my birth trauma right now...)
MA SHUT LIP (Translation: Please Mother, be quiet.)
MUTH. A LISP? (It's true, I can't say 'Muff'.)
MA HUT SLIP
MA HUT LIPS
AM PHIL STU
AM HIP SLUT
A M HIT PLUS
AM LUSH TIP
AM PUSH TIL
'AM SHUT LIP' (I promise not to talk about this.)
HI-AMP LUST (I suffer from this nasty affliction. I should get a girlfriend really.)
PAM. HI SLUT (I greet someone called Pam in an overly-familiar way.)
PUMA HILTS (?)
SAM HILT UP
SAM HUP LIT
MAST HI PUL
MAT HI ULPS
MAT HI PLUS
TAM HI PLUS
TAM PHIL US
I PLUSH MAT (You: Nasty lino.)
PA HITS MUL (My father attacks Mul with his bare fists.)
PA HIM LUST
PA HIM SLUT
PA HIT SLUM
PA, LUSH TIM (Introducing my father to my attractive boyfriend?)
PA MUSH TIL- (I suddenly stop whilst giving my father instructions on how to get the Huskies moving.)
PA HUMS TIL- (The cows come home?)
A 'P-SLIT HUM' (An advanced sexual technique all girls should know.)
A HUM LIST, P.
PA TUSH MIL
PA HUTS MIL
PA THUS MIL
PA HUT SLIM
PAS HUM TIL
ASP HUM LIT
'TIL ASP HUM (I didn't know snakes could hum.)
PAT MULISH (My Irish alter-ego.)
PAT, I'M LUSH (I tell my friend Patricia that I'm a looker.)
I'M PAT LUSH (Another pseudonym.)
I'M LUSH. APT. (Who am I to argue?)
TAP HI SLUM
AS PHIL TUM
AS HIT LUMP
AS HIT PLUM
SAT HIM UP, L
I HUMP SAT, L. (I boasting of my wide knowledge of sexual positions to my friend, Larry.)
AT HI LUMPS
AT HI PLUMS
AT HI SLUMP
AT LUMPISH
AT PHIL SUM
AT HIP SLUM
AT HIS LUMP (Don't go there.)
AT HIS PLUM (Or here.)
"I'M AT PLUSH" (Is that a nightclub?)
H: A LUST IMP (She is, you know.)
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to gather these anagrams of my name, PAUL SMITH:
A PITH SLUM (Where orange peel with low social status hangs out.)
A SHIT LUMP (One I've known about this one for a while.)
A SHIT PLUM (God knows, there are some crap ones around.)
LUMP A HIT, S. (I tell one of The Presidents of the USA who's called Steve, or something, that their track has sold well in the UK.)
HIT A LUMP, S. (As above, but this time I'm explaining how I accidentally ruined Steve's car suspension.)
THIS, A PLUM (Teaching Tarzan about fruit was no easy task...)
HIT A SLUMP (I know this feeling too damn well.)
A PLUSH TIM (Nice but dim?)
A HUMP SLIT (Now I know why some people call me a c**t...)
A HUMP LIST (Every man should have one. Clare Short isn't on mine.)
THUS I LAMP
A HUT LIMPS
AH, LIMP STU! (I tease Stuart about his impotence.)
LISP TUM. HA! (Shouldn't that be 'Thum'?)
AH 'TIL M.S. UP (Some sort of Microsoft booting thing?)
TIM PLUS A.H. ("Do you mean Tim is bringing Alan Hansen to the party?")
HA. SLUM PIT (What I call my bedroom when I've not tidied for a few days.)
AH ITS LUMP
AH IT'S PLUM (I play a 'guess the colour' game.)
AH SIT LUMP
AH SIT PLUM
AH IT LUMPS
AH IT PLUMS
AH. I.T. SLUMP (I see the future...)
HA, SPLIT U, M (Ouch. We can all feel sorry for M.)
IMP LUST. HA! (Well, it is funny, isn't it? Those horny little devils...)
HA! IMP SLUT (See above.)
I MUST PLAH (I just have to Plah! Twice a day or more if I can...)
HA! MIST UP, L! (I imagine there must be a story here, somewhere.)
HAIL STUMP (I greet an amputee thoughtlessly...)
PALISH TUM (We are friends.)
THAI LUMPS (Bangcok-Lady-Boys breasts?)
THAI PLUMS (Adapt the above all you like.)
THAI SLUMP (A stock market crash due to the number of Lady-Boys around.)
I STUMP HAL (By getting him stuck in a logic-loop in order to somehow open the pod bay doors.)
HAL MIST UP (When you huff on his lens.)
HAL, TIM'S UP (Letting the computer in 2001 - A Space Odyssey know that Tim has got out of bed. Like you do.)
IT 'MS' HAL UP (Explaining why Hal9000 went mad and killed the crew of the Discovery.)
MALTHUS PI (I've just decided to adopt this as my stage name if I ever go into acting.)
LASH TIM UP (And why not, if he wants to be lashed?)
LASH IT UP, M (A James Bond scene that's yet to be written.)
SHALT I PUM? (Yes, I will Pum, and Pum again, no doubt.)
HALT S. I'M UP (No need to come and wake me up, Steve.)
HALT, I'M U.P.S. (I have a package I'll deliver to you, so no need to come and get it.)
HALT U.S. IMP (Bloody American mischievous...etc.)
H, I LAP SMUT (So it's spit sticking the pages together, is it?)
HAM-LIP STU. (An unusual nickname.)
HAM TULIPS (My name if I ever go into making porn films.)
LIST UP HAM (...And add 'prok' while you're at the blackboard, ok?)
HAM PI LUST (We all suffer from this, from time-to-time.)
US LP 'HAM I.T.'(An American album all about why pigs should never be given computers.)
MASH TULIP (Not my idea of a full meal.)
MASH IT UP, L. (Some sort of pop-culture thing? L can big it up later too, if he or she wants.)
SHAM TULIP (Beware of fakes. Real Tulips never have MADE IN CHINA stamped on them.)
HAP, I'M SLUT (I come on to Hap.)
SLUM IT, HAP (My advice to someone called Hap who doesn't like paying for expensive hotels.)
MULTI HASP (Sounds like a handy DIY tool that no man should be without.)
PATH I SLUM (My journey through life hasn't always been an easy one...)
HAS MIL PUT (Has Mil put what? Speak up woman!)
TUM HAS LIP (It's more of a flange really...)
U HAS LIMP, T. (Translation: Have you hurt your ankle, Tom?)
HATS I LUMP (A list of headgear I punch.)
I PLUM TASH (Make up your own for this one.)
HAST I LUMP? (A line of Shakespearian dialogue?)
HAST I PLUM? (A line of Dr. Seuss poetry?)
HA, SLIM UP T. (I suggest Tim goes on a diet.)
HAT US LIMP (I'm not sure I want to know what 'hatting' involves...)
HAT IS PLUM (Ball is red. Dog is brown...etc.)
UTAH LIMPS (Weren't they also known as The KLF?)
ALI THUMPS (At last, a Boxing reference.)
TAMIL PUSH (I guess they do, for self rule, or something.)
HUM SPITAL (Usually due to poor lip control.)
PASTIL HUM (A colour Dulux made from 1970 to '73)
SAIL THUMP (Angry with his rigging, a sailor lashes out.)
LISA T. MUPH (My weekend name.)
HUMPS TAIL (An anal sex reference?)
I SHUT L MAP (And open the M one. Why I can't just have one big map I'll never know...)
MAL, THIS UP (I show Mal which way is up. This makes him happy.)
THUS P. MAIL (Whatever.)
PUSH IT, MAL (Mal's car runs out of petrol a few yards from a station.)
PALM HITS U (Yes, I like spanking girls, it's true.)
I PALM TUSH (And I get slapped for it too.)
THUS I PALM (Some sort of masturbatory confession?)
LAMP HITS U (Judith dropped a torch on my head once... Now it figures.)
I SHUT LAMP (To stop the candle blowing out, presumably.)
I MAP L TUSH (I did spend a long time looking at my exgirlfriend Lorraine's bottom, now that you mention it.)
LAMP IS HUT (It must be a big lamp then, that's all I can say.)
I PALM HUTS (Which would mean I have really big hands for a conjurer.)
HI SPATLUM (How are you, old mate?)
AMPUL SHIT (It's been said before, heaven knows. And before you say anything, I know you don't spell 'ample' like that.)
AMPUL HITS (Am I a future recording star?)
THIS AMPUL (I have enough now, thanks.)
HIT UP ALMS
SLAM HI PUT
SLAM IT UP, H. (My advice to my friend Harry when we're playing Basketball together.)
MALTS HI UP
MAULS PITH
ALUMS PITH (This sounds like a nasty medical condition.)
U.S. HIP MALT (A fashionable new Whiskey-based drink from America.)
MALT HIS UP
I PUSH MALT (And the law can't touch me for it.)
IS MALT PUH? (I don't know. You tell me.)
MUST 'HI' ALP (And I'm forced to say hello to the Pyrenees too.)
PAL HIM STU. ("I suggest you make friends with this fellow, Stuart.")
HIS TUM. ALP. (Who are you calling fat?)
HITS... UM... ALP. ("Do you mean there's been a plane crash?")
HIT ALP SUM
ALP MUSH IT
ALP HUMS IT (This must be the effect of the wind passing through a cave, or something.)
I'M SHUT, ALP. (I know you're a mountain, but that doesn't mean you can ignore the sign on the door.)
I'M ALP TUSH. (Does my bum look big in this?)
THUS I'M ALP (because I eat too much and exercise too little.)
HI SMUT PAL (Greeting someone with whom I often swap pornography.)
PAL HIS TUM ("Hello Gavin's Tum, how are you? I'm Paul. Just let me know if I can help you with anything, ok?"
PAL HUMS IT (And I try to name the tune in three.)
IT'S PAL HUM (What I call the smell a friend leaves in the toilet.)
PAL HUM SIT
I'M TUSH PAL (Getting 'friendy' with a bottom?)
PAL THUS I'M... (...lost for words?)
I MUST LAP H (And I even know a girl called H. It's true!)
LAP HI SMUT
LAP HIS TUM (Given the option, I'd rather not, thanks.)
LAP SHIT, MU (A new take on 'eat shit', as shouted at someone called Mu.)
LAP HIT SUM (Possibly 'newspaper-speak' for a fisty-cuff incident at the UN building involving a Laplander and a Sumatran.)
I MUST LAP H. (I really have no choice in the matter.)
LAP. HUM. SIT. (How not to pleasure a woman.)
I LAP TUSH M.(It's a lie, I tell you.)
I'M ALPS HUT (Who are you calling an alpine ski lodge?)
HI. SLAP TUM. (Try it and get a slap back, buster.)
HI PALS MUT (Saying hello to a friends dog. I know Mutt is two T's. Sue me.)
LAPS HUM IT (Damn those crazy non-singing Eskimos.)
HI... UM... SPLAT. (Saying hello to someone whose name you can't quite remember whist falling off a cliff.)
PLAT HIS MU (I'm not sure what a Mu is, but this sounds very painful.)
I PLAT MUSH (It's a good trick if you can do it. I suspect it falls apart soon afterwards, mind.)
SAL THUMP I (I have been hit by a girl called Sally in the past...)
I THUMP SAL (And then I hit her back. I'm not proud.)
SAL HUMP IT (Your imagination can draw in any blanks.)
SAL HUM PIT (Steady.)
SAL HUM TIP (Yet another thinly veiled sexual technique reference.)
SAL HUP TIM (Andf hup him good this time!)
SAL HUT IMP (An accurate, if unflattering, description.)
HIM UP LAST (This reminds me of being picked for sports at school. Just me and the boy with the one leg, standing there while they argued over him...)
I HUMP LAST (Sloppy seconds? No thanks! - Note: I think I've seen a similar phrase to this on a sticker on the back window of a 2CV.)
SALT HIM UP (Some sort of gangland torture after a shooting?)
I HUMP SALT (...But I always have a good wash afterwards. There may be some medical benefit from this...)
MA, PHIL, STU (Introducing my mother to my two friends, Philip and Stuart.)
AM HIP SLUT (Street jive for "I am a music fan and dress like my favourite singer"?)
HIT PLUS MA (A 'job-lot' killing.)
MA PLUSH IT
(Mother, please make it slightly velvet-like for me.) A LUSH TIP, M (This might be some sort of horse-racing thing.)
MA PUSH 'TIL... (I'm feeling my birth trauma right now...)
MA SHUT LIP (Translation: Please Mother, be quiet.)
MUTH. A LISP? (It's true, I can't say 'Muff'.)
MA HUT SLIP
MA HUT LIPS
AM PHIL STU
AM HIP SLUT
A M HIT PLUS
AM LUSH TIP
AM PUSH TIL
'AM SHUT LIP' (I promise not to talk about this.)
HI-AMP LUST (I suffer from this nasty affliction. I should get a girlfriend really.)
PAM. HI SLUT (I greet someone called Pam in an overly-familiar way.)
PUMA HILTS (?)
SAM HILT UP
SAM HUP LIT
MAST HI PUL
MAT HI ULPS
MAT HI PLUS
TAM HI PLUS
TAM PHIL US
I PLUSH MAT (You: Nasty lino.)
PA HITS MUL (My father attacks Mul with his bare fists.)
PA HIM LUST
PA HIM SLUT
PA HIT SLUM
PA, LUSH TIM (Introducing my father to my attractive boyfriend?)
PA MUSH TIL- (I suddenly stop whilst giving my father instructions on how to get the Huskies moving.)
PA HUMS TIL- (The cows come home?)
A 'P-SLIT HUM' (An advanced sexual technique all girls should know.)
A HUM LIST, P.
PA TUSH MIL
PA HUTS MIL
PA THUS MIL
PA HUT SLIM
PAS HUM TIL
ASP HUM LIT
'TIL ASP HUM (I didn't know snakes could hum.)
PAT MULISH (My Irish alter-ego.)
PAT, I'M LUSH (I tell my friend Patricia that I'm a looker.)
I'M PAT LUSH (Another pseudonym.)
I'M LUSH. APT. (Who am I to argue?)
TAP HI SLUM
AS PHIL TUM
AS HIT LUMP
AS HIT PLUM
SAT HIM UP, L
I HUMP SAT, L. (I boasting of my wide knowledge of sexual positions to my friend, Larry.)
AT HI LUMPS
AT HI PLUMS
AT HI SLUMP
AT LUMPISH
AT PHIL SUM
AT HIP SLUM
AT HIS LUMP (Don't go there.)
AT HIS PLUM (Or here.)
"I'M AT PLUSH" (Is that a nightclub?)
H: A LUST IMP (She is, you know.)