JUDITH'S BEARS OF DOOM!

Sadly Judith's bears moved out in 2000. However I loved them all far too much to just wipe this page. Hence it continues to have a few rubbish pictures in a sad attempt to bribe your interest. Sorry.

If you enjoy this page, and I think you will, I can recommend the Aylesbury with Bob and Curly page TO OVER 18s ONLY! It's where you can see more teddy based antics, against the background of a historical overview and cultural analysis of Aylesbury, a town in Buckinghamshire, UK.

Above: Bob and Curly
Your hosts on the adult orientated Aylesbury with Bob and Curly Page.

A very poor quality photo of Judith with a collection of her fine furry friends. From Left to Right: Curly, Sox, Beany, Welly-boot-bear, an unknown brown creature, Safeway, Buneth-buneth, Piggy, Toucan and Bob... and Sark (named after the Channel Island) I think. And no, she doesn't just have the one leg.

This is Elvis. So named because of his pointy collar and general air of having left the building. A newish bear who has worked hard to fit in with the others. He has a lovely woolly jumper, which he is a credit to. Well done Elvis. Ah-ur. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to decide how to spell Elvis's famous catch-noise? Ahurro? Nope. Or how about Uhurr? Oh no, she was in Star-Trek.)

As seen above, this naughty chappy is Bob, also known as The Bobster. A gangland 'hit-bear' during the 70's, he is now trying hard not to live a life of crime. However, his cheeky nature often draws him into trouble. For example he started the civil war in Angola. "Bad bear! Naughty Bear!", as Harry Hill would say. On a similar note: "What are the chances of that happening?"

If you go down to the woods today... you'll not find a Teddy bears picnic, but a rabbits one! Left to right, meet the rock 'n' roll rabbit, who is simply known as 'Bunny', plus: Buneth-buneth, Nibbles, Woolly Rabbit (after the Clangers character of the same name) and a furry friend so old his given name is lost in the mists of time. We shall call him 'Pink Rabbit' for the sake of simplicity. Aren't they all lovely? I SAID AREN'T THEY ALL LOVELY?!... That's better.

In stark contrast from the usual 'posed', almost 'artificial' pictures of Judith's bears, here is Welly Boot Bear caught relaxing on what he believes to be a sun bed. No one has yet had the heart to tell him it's just a PC scanner. He would be upset, even though, as you can see he has gone a lovely brown colour! (It may just be mud. At this time we just don't know.)

"7 a.m. Woke up feeling like I never want to wake up again..." Curly makes the same solemn promise to himself that he makes every Saturday morning. No more dancing late into the night with the bad Dollies from across the road. No more Teddy Bears picnics with tea-cups full of Vodka... Here is the cheeky chappy we call Bob in all his glory. He's now been immortalised as a poster and animation campaign advertising computer things, yet he remains cool, calm and collected. Fame hasn't changed him. If you'd like to see the little film called 'Bob in Peril' that he stars in, you'll need to visit my Flash Animation Page. While on holiday with me in Rhodes in 2002, Curly fell-foul of some megalomanic with plans for world domination. One close call with a laser-beam later and the phrase, "No Mr Curly, I expect you to die" has become a standard put-down around my house. Fortunately, Curly escaped with little more than an odd shaped tan. Who would have thought his fur contained such a high concentration of asbestos? More pictures from that August in Rhodes can be found on my Naked Photo Album and Portraits pages. Have a look. They're better than this rubbish.

Right: Taken at Judith's parents house in Devon in 2001, here we see several naughty bears trying to escape. They were caught and severely punished.

Naughty Bear punishments include:

Not being cuddled.

Being placed in the fridge (or 'cooler', as it's known) for several hours.

Being attacked with a hand-held vacuum-cleaner, usually with the dreaded crevice attachment connected too.

A trip to the washing machine. This is like water torture, but with the added indignity of being hung up by your ears to dry afterwards. See the animation below for an idea how this may look:

This movie (which I made to promote the things I used to sell at work) can also be seen, along with many more of 'Bob in Peril', on my hip 'n' groovy Flash Animation Page.

Other punishments may include:

Being forced to wear an unflattering hat.

Withdrawal of picnic privileges.

Being placed in a box, in the attic, and forgotten about for 15 years before being discovered, covered in spiders, when moving home.

Sarcasm. (Bears hate this!)

Or, perhaps worst of all, Fluff poking. This is where a bear has his or her fluff rearranged by poking, resulting in an oversized head, or odd feet. There is nothing as nasty as having an overstuffed bottom, let me tell you.

I know you're very keen to meet all of Judith's fine Bears, and believe me, there would be plenty more to come. I have said in the past, 'visit again in a few days and I promise even more will have been uploaded, kicking and screaming'. However, that's just not true now that all the bears (bar Bob and Curly) have gone (Sniff). You'll just have to enjoy these few images.

You have to enjoy them.

Click here or the lovely Index icon above to be transported to my handy, pocket sized index page, or use your back button. Your call.	Selecting the box above will send you on a wild, head-long journey into my web site. Strap yourself in. It's going to be one hell of a ride.	OVER 18s ONLY! Click here or the bear-faced icon above to go to see the evil, foul-mouthed Aylesbury with Bob & Curly page.
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