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June 2004: PAUL SMITH'S DEVIANT'S DIARY - Who is Peter Birch?
You might not know the name, but you would have seen his books in WH Smith (indeed, all good bookshops) under the non-de-plume of Aishling Morgan, published by Nexus. Peter the man is an amiable, affable chap, slightly reminiscent of Boris Johnson MP, but without the blonde hair. Or bumbling waffle. He is of in-determinant age and drives a Rover.
I was waiting for him outside a pub when he arrived in it. The Rover that is, not the pub. He quickly whisked me off to visit the site where some video close to my heart was shot. I can only call it a 'Secret woodland location in Hertfordshire', but you might know it as the spiritual home of The Birch, Bottoms & Lovitt Pony Club. On the way we discussed the evolution of women's underwear from the 18th century to the 1950's. It rather set the tone of my day. There's nothing this man doesn't know about the common or garden lesser-spotted knicker.
Everyone has a moment of sexual awakening. I don't mean that first cringe-worthy kiss from the girl/boy/dog next door, but something a bit more radical. I suspect Karen Powell's was when she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her and I said, "Oral, anal or vaginal?" Her face suggested two of these three options had never really crossed her mind. Not that the third one should have legally crossed it either as she was only 15. Before you get the wrong idea, so was I. We were at school together. Looking back, this was my 'Lord Bernard Shaw Moment'. When Lady Asquith said to him "Mr Shaw, you and I should make love - with my looks and your brains we'd have great children". He replied, "Ah, but what if it had my looks and your brains?" A very funny response, but basically he'd just blown out a guaranteed shag.
My moment of realisation came while watching an episode of Eurotrash that was filmed in 1995. I think I've mentioned the scene of anal penetration by pony-tail plug in this magazine before, albeit heavily pixelled out. Suddenly it was clear that there were girls in the world who liked 'that kind of thing'. It was a wakeup call, I can tell you. I smelt the coffee. I think. Anyway, that was a light-hearted segment about the Birch Bottoms & Lovitt Pony Club, fairly early in its history. They've now been filmed around twenty times, including by a team for German television, the director of which didn't understand English rules about genital nudity in public. It caused trouble, as you can imagine.
Peter pointed at a W carved into a tree and said, "W for Wallow. This is where we filmed piggy-girl in the mud." I nodded and took some photos. As we walked the rough paths he told me a funny story about three Woodland Rangers who turned up during a photo shoot here. He was standing over a girl who was plugged, bridled, saddled and quietly grazing when they arrived. From behind her. Soon afterwards notices appeared in the woods: Have you seen anything suspicious during your visit? Please call… Later, a notice went up asking for local volunteers to become Deputy Wardens. Peter was tempted to offer his services, but somehow thought that they wouldn't have forgotten him just yet.
The club grew out of the stand of pony equipment and other play items that Peter and his wife ran at the London Whiplash Fetish Market in the early 90's. In November 93 it was decided to formalise an organisation for likeminded enthusiasts as a non-business venture. It's still active, with one or two get-togethers held every year. In 2003 this was a Damsel in Distress Day on a length of deserted Buckinghamshire railway line. If you remember that stupidly warm day in August, you'll know just how hot those tracks must have been! Membership is maintained below 50 people (a workable size for what is basically a group of friends who enjoy sharing their fantasies) and there are a lot of criteria that need to be passed before being accepted as an associate. Since it's virtually free to join, it's all about what members bring to the club rather than how deep their pockets are. Sort of refreshing, I think, but since this is a trade publication, I'd better get on with the business side of Peter's life, rather than the just-for-fun stuff.
Like so many things in this crazy world, Peter's current lifestyle and earnings are the result of a chain of happy events. That's not to say there's any lack of talent - No insult meant. Over twenty thousand copies of Captive have been sold; a figure that would have placed it on many Best Seller Lists if erotica was included. Over the last few years Peter's prodigious output has seen the establishment of a firm fan base and demand for his writing grow and grow.
Educated at the exclusive school in Swanbourne, Bucks and gaining his degree in Zoology at Magdalen and a Masters in 1985, Peter was making a living writing technical reports with catchy titles like ''Euro High-Voltage Switchgear Markets' when he got his big break in professional writing. He'd built up a small library of detective satire stories he'd written for his girlfriend (now Mrs Birch) while she was recovering from a knee operation. That's a real knee operation, not the sort of knee operation Britney was alleged to have had, I'm quick to point out. A friend of his from university with whom he'd also exchanged entertaining whodunit stories was given the job of illustrating a comic strip for Punch. When the woman originally earmarked to write the stories proved to be unsuitable (a bad attitude and a television rather than comic strip background didn't help her fit the bill) the illustrator put Peter's name forward. Thus 'The Adventures of Susan McQuillan' was born. The strip about a spoof detective ran in Punch for about four months, and produced enough money for Peter to concentrate on developing his style and pursuing writing jobs. The Crime and Punishment division of Virgin Books published several stories, which lead to contact with James Marriott, then commissioning editor for Nexus. Fetish Times was an early outlet for Peter's erotic work, and it wasn't a huge leap of imagination to extend the existing short story of The Rake into a novel for Nexus. It was published in '99.
Influences include George McDonald Fraser's anti-hero Flashman (Of Tom Brown's Schooldays fame) series, as well as Doyle, Gor and Tolkien. There's even something of the Pratchett about his fantasy chain of books: The Maiden Saga. "It's not an out-and-out spoof of the genre. It's more subversive really", Peter explained. "The funniest thing is the only negative feedback about it I've ever had was concerning an Orange Insertion sequence. People are happy to have dozens of hugely endowed goblins running about, but you write about oranges being pushed where nature never intended an orange to go and you get comments like 'That's impossible!' It is possible, I assure you." I made eye contact and was left in no doubt that this was a man speaking from personal experience. He continued, with zest. "Inspiration for my various themed series comes from interweaving my stories with factually accurate historic events, as well as wild sex scenes from my own fevered imagination, and familiarity. I really enjoy carefully crafting the results into erotica with a proper story as well as merciless spankings and watersport punishment."
Peter now writes under the name of Aishling Morgan almost by accident, as he explained; "By now Nexus was already publishing books by Penny Birch (Peter's wife) and it was felt that writing as Peter Birch would only cause confusion, so I went looking for a suitably Celtic, mysterious name. Choosing Morgan was easy, but the right first name was harder to decide on, in a hurry. I wanted something gender non-specific (it helps sales) and Aishling seemed to fit the bill. Of course, afterwards I found out it's only a girls name, but by then it was too late."
One bugbear is the Nexus generic cover policy. They use fairly stock photographs, which have no obvious bearing on the subject of the book. Peter would rather just have a blank cover with the title, Aishling name and the Nexus logo on the front. It'd be cheaper to produce too, I chipped in. Failing that (minimalist erotica not having caught on yet: In Out In Out Yes Oh!) Peter would like artwork covers, rather than photographic ones. He's particularly fond of the work of Italian Milo Manara and José Maqueros, who has illustrated for Penny Birch books. In fact, a portfolio of Maqueros' drawings for Penny In Harness has just been produced for lovers of erotic art. Another feather in the Birch family cap.
Pleasure Toy (originally entitled just 'Toy', but this was felt to be a wee bit too much for the High Street. Go figure) and Tiger Tiger are a couple of Aishling Morgan titles you might recognise. Peter makes around the national average income (look it up if you're nosey) from his writing, and produces something approaching ten titles per year. "It's great to be able to just slide out of bed and hit the keyboard in my bathrobe", he admitted. "I get most of my work done while the kids are at school and it means I can be here for them when they come home." The flexibility of being self-employed clearly suits him, and he's self-disciplined enough to make it work. "How can you discipline someone else if you can't discipline yourself?" was a fair comment.
I asked about the moral aspects of writing about non-consensual situations. "The more unreal the setting, the broader licence I have to push boundaries. In reality I stick firmly to the SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) rule, but in a fantasy there's no danger of HIV, charges of assault or stiff letters from the RSPCA. Fantasy is fantasy. I expect adults to know the difference. In so much as there's a protagonist in any scene, it's true that bad things tend to happen to bad people in my books. There's a comeuppance in one involving a locked cellar and rampant apes, for example. (In a book about bizarre genetic experiments on hapless young women, naturally) The Scarlet Gothic series (which includes Whipping Girl - Another title not afraid to hide its content behind much subtlety) has a very clear moral message to it. Although it's set in the middle ages, the premise that people who regard themselves as just and right can do the most shocking things in the name of religious intolerance is as true now as it's ever been. There are no simple black and white characters in my books. The hero's are flawed, the rough diamonds are very rough. Even the virginal princesses are less than snow-white. It makes for a much more involving, and believable story."
We talked about JK Rowling. The prospect of being approached to turn one (or more, as they're often written as sequels in series) of his books into a film made Peter smile. "Well, they did a film version of The Story of O, didn't they?" We both agreed it was an unwatchable movie adaptation of an unreadable book though, so perhaps it wasn't the best example to cite.
So there you go. Peter Birch is something of a Renaissance Man, with a kinky corkscrew twist. He's been a central figure on the British fetish scene for well over a decade and I've not even had a chance to talk about his previous life in the Wine industry (he still teaches wine appreciation, from time to time) or the tale of 'Octopus molestation' which first drew his writing to my attention. As it would. Peter Birch is about to replace his passport. Ten years since having a short story called The Rake published in Forum, he's putting his occupation down as 'Writer'. With well over 350,000 books sold, I think this is rather modest of him. 'Novelist' sounds better and is more accurate. 'Professional Perv' might draw too many questions at border control.
Paul Smith is free to a good home. Job offers to info@snapsandbytes.co.uk please.
2045 words on the happy world of erotic literature Dale :-D
Paul