paul smith's Snaps & Bytes e-home
September 2006: PAUL SMITH’S DEVIANT’S DIARY - Sort of...
Dale Bradford (ETO Editor) interviews the Mystery Shopper (A feature which I edit)
Taking some of the mystery out of the Mystery Shopper.
Following on from Taboo of Brighton's success as the winner of the Mystery Shopper Award for Best Individual Store, we were curious as to the exact criterion 'Miss Treesh Opper' uses when reviewing retailers. Having been questioned about the feature many times during the ETO Show, we suspect you'd like to know what she looks for in a store too. So we asked her.
I'll start with a question that a reader, referring to you, asked of me: "What has she got rammed up her arse?"
Straight in with the abuse eh? I won't dignify this question with an answer- Although I did see a beautiful jewelled butt-plug in a film the other day…
What makes you so qualified to write about retail?
If there was ever a woman who could claim to have been Born To Shop, it's me! It's genuinely on my CV under hobbies. Through writing about retail in ETO since 2004, I could even say I'm a semi-professional shopper. I also worked in various forms of retail for several years, as staff, branch management and in an area-supervisory role. It was my job to ensure the way the stores were presented to the public was the best they could be. It's with that attitude in mind that I visit shops for review. Perhaps that does make me more critical than the average shopper, but the criticism is always constructive.
What value is there for ETO in having a Mystery Shopper piece?
Mystery Shoppers are used in every retail industry as a way to measure performance. As many readers of ETO are directly involved in retail, and most are affected by it, it's wholly appropriate to look at this aspect of 'erotic trade' from the point of view of a consumer. Ultimately the entire industry exists to service the consumer, and while there are other routes to market, retail remains vital. I feel the value lies in giving a consumer's opinion of what's good and bad in the world of adult shops. ETO provides the window. It's up to readers to decide if the view has any relevance to them.
But you know it pisses off some readers every month?
Why do you think I was on holiday the week of the ETO Show? I am genuinely sorry that it upsets some people. That's certainly not my intention. If the Mystery Shopper feature in the magazine is to have any credibility I have to give an honest view of every shop I review. If I was forced to abandon my integrity and 'sweeten the pill', I believe the articles would be completely compromised and devalued. I also think I say more nice things than nasty ones!
How does it benefit shops that have been featured?
Unbiased feedback isn't easy to come by, especially cheaply. Through ETO I offer a free and impartial appraisal of a shop, drawing attention to good features as well as what I consider to be problems. I have heard my comments are used to motivate staff and highlight failings to owners who don't see staff on less than their best behaviour. The vast majority of the problems I comment on are already known deep-down by those who read my reviews of their shops - just seeing it commented on in black and white makes it clear that it's something visitors notice too. If that motivates them to get a duster or paint pot and brush or Hoover out, or carpet-fitter in, that's a benefit I think.
And what about other shops that haven't been featured? What do they get out of it?
I hope when I mention an issue with a specific shop in a feature, that the broader readership will also look over at their display, or down at their floor, or up at their lights, and question if they're doing the same thing or have the same problem. It's very easy to take your environment for granted when you're working 40+ hours a week in a 20x35ft box and not even be conscious of things every visitor who's only there for 20 minutes will spot.
Why do you mention prices so often? Who cares?
As a shopper, price is important. I approach every review as if I was living in the town I'm visiting, so if Retailer A is cheaper than Retailer B, that's going to influence which I'll spend my money in, and make me more likely to visit it again. If everything else is equal, a cheaper shop is a better shop, from the customer's perspective. I also hope to give ETO readers an idea of what some core products sell for around the country too, as I've seen big differences area-to-area. I think of prices as just additional info, as when I mention them I'm also talking about what range of products are stocked.
What type of areas do you target?
A variety. Major cities naturally, but I like to visit less obvious areas that offer an insight into regional trends. I've also gone to look at specific, often new, stores there's been some publicity about, and built a review of an area around it. I have a map I keep a record of my visits on, which I use to identify other areas I need to a drop in on, and ETO sometimes makes requests to visit a city too. Wherever I go, I try to ensure retailers aren't expecting me there that month.
What will you do when you run out of towns with 5 or 6 stores?
To some degree this is already happening; Cheltenham and Gloucester last month for example. I'm not averse to looking at a wider geographic area rather than a single town or city. Like the Forth Rail Bridge, when I've been to every adult shop in the UK it'll be time to go back and look at some of the ones I reviewed years ago to see how they've moved on, as well as review any new ones that have appeared in the area too.
How many adult shops have you visited since this feature began?
I had to dig out my paperwork to answer this question. Oh yes, I have files on everyone, lol! From the November '04 issue of ETO to last month's one, I'd visited and reviewed 118. Some shops I've visited and not been able to review, as they've not had an 'adult' enough stock profile. Others I've found closed, empty, or too minor to get a whole review to itself. These sometimes get bundled in with other stores' reports.
Do you have a set view of certain shop chains before you visit them (as we get told by some people), or is each outlet treated on its own merits?
It's impossible not to have certain expectations when you visit any branch of a chain of retailers. If you go to McDonalds, you expect plastic furniture and similar food. I'm careful to be aware of this to ensure every shop is looked at in isolation. Actually, ones that have perhaps under-performed in the past lower my expectations, making a better branch of the same chain impress me all the more. It all balances out I think. Whenever some flack is forwarded to me I return to the review and reread it. So far I've not found a comment I've made which I don't happily stand by.
How do you think adult retailers compare to any other type of retailer?
Apples and oranges. Licenced adult retail really isn't like any other type. I suppose the closest comparisons might be with other businesses with a restricted appeal and adults-only clientele. Betting shops, Off-licences, Specialist tobacconist… There's first-class and shabby in all these fields. In general, I think there's room for improvement in adult retail. If there wasn't, my reviews would make very dull reading! I will say that the very best examples of adult retail are as good as anything you'll see on the High Street though.
Do you think a single woman can now visit an adult shop on her own without embarrassment?
That depends on the woman and the shop. The vast majority are welcoming to women these days, but I have been in sex shops where I've felt very out of place, and even scared on one occasion. On the other hand, it's the men in Ann Summers who look out of place, and Sh! Woman's Store in London is women-only, with men allowed in only when accompanied by a responsible female. Over the two years I've been doing these reports, I'd say I do see more women in shops now. As for whether they're single or married, I really couldn't say.
What do you think adult stores should be doing more of? (Obviously please elaborate on this one quite a lot - staff, signage, fixtures, uniform, pricing etc)
Porn is a luxury item and I believe that needs to be reflected in how it's sold. Price is not as big a factor in adult retail as it is in more commodity-based selling. This is why, while I refer to price, I try to focus on range and presentation in my reviews. Shop decoration and display fixtures are important. As I'm limited on space in the magazine I tend to let the photograph tell the story of the shop's external appearance, while saying a bit about the area it's in, perhaps. If you're drawn in by the outside of a shop, by it's window display, signage or whatever, that's when you get to meet the real selling-power of a shop; the staff. I think a uniform or dress-code makes staff look and feel more professional, but anyone not covered in gravy is ok by be so long as they say hello and offer some help. It's not an industry that needs to be crewed by corporate clones. Personality counts and people expressing this in dress, hair and piercings is much more acceptable here than it would be in M&S, for example. Product training isn't a bad idea on some of the more advanced lines as I admire a salesperson that knows their features from their benefits. Reading customer comments about shops at MelonFarmers.co.uk, I see I'm not the only person who appreciates little niceties, such as being offered a cup of tea or coffee (well done Sh! Women's Store) as well as a bargain. Fittings should be halfway modern and not temporary looking, and everything should be arranged to make it visible and reachable. Organising stock into types keeps product comparison easy for visitors and builds confidence in their purchase decisions.
And what should they be doing less of?
Handwritten signs make me cringe. There's no need for a scrawled note when a PC and a printer can make something that's more obvious, more professional and easier to read. I'm no fan of fluorescent stars either, but I suppose at least they're attention grabbing. I don't want every shop to look like a Porn version of Costa, but if you've dark carpet, make sure it's vacuumed regularly. Do this after you've dusted some stock. I understand why magazines are sealed, but they shouldn't be turned to an inside page before being bagged as this means the same mag can appear to be several issues and miss-sold. Thanks to my liberal upbringing, I feel rather uncomfortable with products that can be regarded as racist. Ballz Deep in Niggaz 3 isn't big and it isn't clever.
Is bigger always better?
What a question to ask a lady! You're a terror Mr Bradford! It's not the size; it's what you do with it. However, having a bigger one does mean you can do more with it if you want to... So, to answer the question, bigger isn't always better, but it can help. Room for more of a range and space for stock presentation ideas can come at the cost of atmosphere though. Smaller shops can play the intimate card and perhaps have a friendlier atmosphere.
Describe your 'dream' adult store (in every detail)?
A convenient but discreet location, within 10 minutes walk of parking - preferably free. A well thought-out and well-maintained frontage with easy access for the less able. I know some older properties are at a disadvantage here, but peeling paintwork can be sanded and painted, and ramps made available. The shop floor should be well organised, with well-designed and attractively boxed products. Ideally a wide range of R18 films should be stocked, along with a broad selection of toys, novelties, equipment, lingerie, shoes, boots and clothing, condoms, batteries and lubricants. Perhaps with furniture and other objects and fittings used to add interest, while also being for sale - all appealingly displayed. A real bonus is finding a product I've not seen elsewhere. Quirky is good. Everything should be clean, well lit and reasonably priced. The staff should be welcoming and attentive without being in your face. If they make me giggle, they'll probably make a sale if I see something I fancy and can afford. I like a sexy atmosphere with a naughty edge. You can hint at wickedness with colours, textures, mirrors, music, artwork and lighting. If there's a seat and a coffee, I'll be in no hurry to leave and will brighten the place up while I'm there. In a perfect world I'll spot just what I want in the bargain bin and leave feeling like a woman who's been successful in her mission.
What is the best store you have visited so far and what set it apart from everyone else?
I was mightily impressed by Taboo in Brighton, which is why they got this year's Mystery Shopper Award at the ETO Awards night in July. They had all the right angles covered to be a great 'all rounder'. I also thought some of the boutique-style shops I've been in were very good. She Said in Brighton, Miss Fantasia's in Dublin and several in London spring to mind. Westward Bound in Plymouth have a great specialist appeal and Ann Summers have to be applauded for moving adult retail away from exclusively for men and on the back street towards the high street, couples and women. I've also been very impressed with the superstore shops I've visited; Private, Pulse & Cocktails and Simply Pleasure. Perhaps the best-presented licenced shops I've been in have been the gay ones. Clone Zone never look bad, and Q Store in Edinburgh was a real pleasure. It seems like a long time ago now, and perhaps rather redundant, but Hustler Hollywood in Birmingham was a joy to visit and Harmony in Soho is perhaps the shop I've visited most often in a non-professional capacity. Even little things were special about some shops: Hanky Panky's name and excellent parking behind the shop, The Condom Shop in Leeds' location, Secret Desires in Talibach's lighting design and all SimplyPleasure.com's external signage. Taboo remains the one to beat though.
What is the worst thing you've ever seen in an adult store?
Apart from 'The Shit Eating Sluts of Prague' you mean? I think the worst thing I've seen is actually what I've not seen. I've good eyesight, but several shops I've been in have been dingy at best, and properly dark at worst. I need to see it before I can buy it, and I don't like tripping over steps because I've not noticed them in the gloom. There's some shocking battered pegboard and toys with no prices on or near them out there too.
And what was the worst thing anyone has said to you?
Again, this is more what wasn't said than what was. I've been completely ignored before now, even while trying to catch someone's eye in an otherwise empty shop. That's just plain rude and no way to make a sale.
How would you react if I said that we hear that some people prefer to shop in a sleazy 'old skool' sex shop - and that you are contributing to the demise of the industry by encouraging it to go more mainstream?
I wouldn't be surprised at all. My best friend says just the same thing. She likes the rush she gets going to the seedier sort of shop as it feels 'wrong' and 'naughty' in a way Ann Summers just isn't going to. There's room in the market for all styles of shop, but if you're in business to make money, you need to attract as many people as possible. If your dirty carpet tiles make ten visitors tingle with your edgy atmosphere, I suspect it'll put eleven off. Think of it like pubs. The ones with bolted-down furniture and straw on the floor will attract a regular clientele, but passing trade will keep on passing. A branded, familiar chain that hasn't disappointed in the past will be a much safer bet for the casual visitor, who may become a habitual customer. Sleazy can be sexy, but smelly, dusty, peeling, sticky, damaged and dingy don't do it for me.
You are known for not liking the pushy approach, but that's clearly what works in some areas of adult retail, so should you mark down the type of store that uses this approach?
Frankly yes. Yes yes yes! There's pushy and there's not taking no for an answer. As an ex-salesperson myself, I appreciate enthusiasm and willingness to make a sale, but if I visit any retailer I don't expect to be bullied or blackmailed into buying something. If I've come into a shop, not received a hello and been treated like a timewaster when I've tried to leave without making a purchase, especially when I've wasted no one's time but my own, that's not a shop I'll want to go into again. Perhaps a perceived lack of competition in the adult realm makes this behaviour more acceptable or desirable to some, but I think it's a shortsighted, outmoded business practice and damaging to the image of the industry. I also challenge your assertion that it works in some areas of adult retail. It might make a sale in the short term, but unless the buyer has a tough skin, a short memory or was really delighted with their purchase, you might not see them again.
Do you think 'going mainstream' should be an adult retailer's ambition? Why or why not?
I'm not sure what going mainstream means to the licenced adult retail sector. Gaining acceptance, broadening appeal and casting off some of the remaining dirty-mac reputation of the past should all be perfectly possible though. I think making money should be an adult retailer's ambition, don't you? If attracting more people in, giving them a wider and more interesting choice, treating them better and trying to make their shopping experience more pleasant generally will help you sell more product, and I think it will, then that should be what retailers ought be working towards. If you call that going mainstream, then yes.
If you know so much about retail, and have such clear ideas on what everybody is doing wrong, why haven't you opened your own shop yet?
Who say's I haven't, lol! As it happens, opening a shop has been suggested and may happen in the future. It's the sort of thing I'd like to do with a partner to spread the workload I think and my current squeeze isn't interested.
Why do you think adult is one of the very few areas of retail where an individual can open a store and still make a good living?
Is this a trick question? Mark-up. Profit. I can't think of any other retail industry that makes anything like the same sort of percentage on their lines. I appreciate there are extra costs and red tape associated with adult shops, particularly licences and insurance problems, but while there's strict controls on shop numbers, and thus competition, independents and small chains will remain healthily viable in a way other shops aren't.
If you were put in charge of Ann Summers, what would you do differently?
What a good question! Happily there's an easy answer. I'd bring in premium lines from well-known upmarket lingerie manufactures and move away from some of the trashier products they sell. Nylon uniforms are all well and good, but for anyone more committed to their role-play will be looking for something more substantial. While Ann Summers' range of toys is very solid, their accessories, such as bondage bits, are mostly sold as novelties, and the quality reflects this more than their prices do. There are great quality products available at good prices to the trade, and it'd be wise for AS's purchasers to look at customer satisfaction and turnover as well as profit on cheap rubbish, sold dear. I'd also look at partitioning more shops and gaining licences to sell R18 titles. Only one Ann Summers I've been in was licenced, but it's clearly an area where they could gain yet more adult market share.
When you are not visiting adult shops, which retailers in other channels do you most admire?
Did I tell you about my passion for shoes? Actually shoe-shops aren't that special, are they? I think Virgin Megastores always look good, and I enjoy the atmosphere in any independent shop that's run by someone who clearly has a passion for what they're selling. Be it tropical fish or hair products. On a more hard-nosed tack, you have to admire Tesco as a moneymaking machine. Moving out of town and adding petrol stations was a brilliant strategy.
What is the future for adult retail?
You're not holding back from The Big Questions, are you? To some degree adult retail has lagged behind other forms, but more care is being taken over the presentation -not just of the shops themselves but of product too. I can only see this trend continuing in the future. Independents, particularly those who've become uncompetitive, will continue to be absorbed into chains. Speaking of chains, fetish and kink seem to be growth areas and shops will develop to service the needs of these discerning clients. Electro-torture isn't just for nylon carpet owners. As the Channel 4 generation gains positions of power, some of the remaining stigma of porn and those who buy and sell it will vanish and control may well be relaxed. It makes little sense to lock an industry in the 80's when the Internet and broadband downloads and streaming makes erotica so easily available. The industry also needs to get behind a mouthpiece, to ensure those with the power to make your business existence easier or harder get to hear your voice.
When do you think you will be able to include more mainstream retailers (like Boots, Superdrug etc) in your pieces?
As soon as they start selling a range of adult products beyond condoms, I'll be there. As for when, I feel their tentative steps in this area will continue for another year at least. Perhaps a cock ring or two, or other line marketed as a sexual health product will pop-up between now and then, but I'll be surprised if we see anything you could call a sex 'toy' in such shops for quite a while.
Can you see a time when supermarkets will be selling giant cocks?
This isn't a poultry question, is it? Never say never, but I suspect the public wouldn't accept it for many years to come. One thing you don't want when shopping for a cucumber is to bump into a big wobbly rubber phallus. On the other hand, if you're not buying the cucumber to eat it… I think in-town department stores represent more of a threat to the status quo at the moment. I can imagine Dildos in Debenhams more easily than I can picture Anal Beads at Asda.
A final word for our readers - give us three do's and three don'ts of adult retailing?
Do say hello. A welcome, as the name suggests, is welcoming.
Do look around yourself every day and ask yourself what could be improved.
Do visit other shops, adult and not, to get presentation, design, product and display ideas.
Don't get complacent - the industry is moving on and you can be left behind.
Don't forget there are more women than men, and quite a lot of what you sell is intended for us. There's no need to paint your shop pink, but don't but things 8ft up walls either. Some of us are quite short!
Don't lower your standards because 'porn sells itself'. It sells itself even faster with a little care and attention paid to the environment it's sold in.
Around 4000 words Dale. Feel free to drop some Q&As to find room for a MS picture.
Paul.