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October 2007: PAUL'S PIECE - Summer Porno Party - Issue 51.
The weather was living up to the billing of the Summer Porno Party in Brixton when I attended it on the 14th of September. This debut event enjoyed the blessing of an Indian Summer evening, which was fortunate as many of the porn performer guests weren't wearing all that much. Originally planned as a continuation of the BGAFD (British Girls Adult Film Database) web site's social gatherings where the paying public could meet their boning idols, it'd mutated into the Summer Porno Party during its development process.
£20 tickets had been bought by premium rate text, giving visitors a unique code to gain entry, and others paid £25 at the door to get in. Knowing the organiser -Strictly Broadband's Jerry Barnett- got me on the guest list, so I was waved in when I arrived at Mass shortly after the 8.30pm official start. Not long afterwards I was able to photograph Cathy Barry's grand entrance. Which I've a feeling might be the title of her next film.
Mass is a club within the converted St Matthews Church, just a short stroll from Brixton tube, and it's no stranger to saucy events; Torture Garden often hold fetish nights there. I climbed several floors up a circular staircase past Strictly News balloons before the music's volume told me I'd reached the right level. A table by the entrance held goodie bags from sponsors, and mine held sweets and a t-shirt from SexToys.co.uk, R18 films and catalogues from Relish and Viewer's Wives DVDs from Your Choice. I believe UK Nymphos, Nylon Stocking Sluts and Johnny Rebel were also involved.
With a capacity of 1500, the 400+ party attendees didn't leave the place too packed to move or too hot to breath, but there were plenty of people to build a great atmosphere. With a DJ mixing it up on the ones and twos, the music helped too but ultimately is was what everyone was here to see that made the venue buzz; the girls. Every time a nipple slipped out or a buttock appeared, a gaggle of men with camera-phones would form, and such impromptu displays were very much a theme of the party. It seems you can't get porn stars together without this happening- which is perhaps why an event like this can even be imagined as a success.
Amongst the invited guests, the first familiar face I saw was French-born Lala, a black actress who gave two performances to remember in my adult film project. You may have read about my adventures in a series of articles for ETO called How Hard Can It Be? Filming Lala was certainly a highlight and it was a delight to see her again. I asked her partner Peter some impertinent personal questions and he told me, "We've been together for five and a half years, and it's a lot of fun! She's been modelling for about two and a half years, and it's been great. The night's started slowly but I'm waiting for these two", he indicated Lala and Jan B, "to do their show on the stage later."
Performances were an integral part of the night, as were industry gossip and business networking. Girls who'd not seen each other for a while formed clusters by the bars, and among one such huddle I recognised some headgear… Co-sponsoring the event, Real Punting's Jay Kennedy -the man of a thousand hats- was on good form when I asked him if he was enjoying himself and if he was as impressed as I was with the number of actresses in attendance.
"It's fantastic, yeah. A good night. As for the girls, I think they heard I'd be here", he laughed. "We've got Real Punting 3 about to come out. A lot of thought went into the title! But there is a by-line: Real Escorts - Real Sex."
I suggested Real Punting 3: Punt Harder and Winkle (an actor I met in the course of filming my movie) called over, "This time it's Personal Services!"
"Where were you guys when I was brainstorming?" demanded Jay, "I must come to more parties to get title ideas. This one's interesting actually because there's a scene shot in a real parlour in Stoke. Real parlour, real parlour girl."
Before I left to mingle, I had one more important question to ask JK: How many hats did he own? "A lot! I like shopping for hats. Perhaps eight or nine to match my bling."
A tall blonde, Kate Bell worked camera and stills for Real Punting for three years, along with design and being a 'creative influence', she told me. Marino of Spanking Tomato had an even bolder claim: "I would just like to say I'm the first man to have sex with a woman at the party. I've already done it the toilet!" Little did he know I'd had sex in the toilet ages earlier. Unless it doesn't count as sex if you're alone…
Glamorous Michelle Thorne looked every inch (32E, I'd guess) the star in a little red number, and Faye Rampton was outstanding in a bee costume. I'd never really thought of bees as being all that sexy -despite their obvious connection with the birds- but somehow Faye made it work. Getting her tits out may have helped. Visiting from Spain, Rebecca Jessop made herself at home on one of the long seats by the wall and chatted to a flow of guys, and I kept seeing Pascal pop up. One advantage of being tall is you're easy to spot in a crowd. In total I must have seen over thirty performers, which I thought was a great turnout as none of them were being paid to attend.
In the smaller, quieter back room Anna Span, who reminded me she's exhibiting at this month's Adults Only Show in Birmingham, looked unfeasibly resplendent for someone in jeans. I managed to prise the following out of her.
"We'll be at Erotica as well, with girls and boys on the stand. We've got Southwark Sugar coming out in October, and at the end of the month we will have Do The Business. Southwark Sugar is following-on from Hoxton Honey with trendy people shagging but with a bit more of a business look, and Southwark's actually the area where I live. Do The Business is about women from the 1950s -it's very tongue-in-cheek comedy, a bit like A&O- who find a magic book and come forward in time to find out how men have improved. But they find them lazy, sponging, sweary, and pissing the street! It's a bit of a departure for me, but they look amazing in their original 50s clothes. Slips and petticoats -the whole shebang underneath, plus big hats- It's a fantasy thing and a good laugh! We filmed at a proper stately home near Birmingham. It was an incredible location to have been offered and we filmed the opening scene there with Alicia Rhodes and Dirty Dog, with her bashing him around the head with her handbag to get away. You've got to see it!"
Mixed in with performers, producers and directors were other industry folk, including Ric Porter of Portway Films, who'd been my cameraman for the scenes I shot on the plane for my movie. He'd spotted some of his shots in the three minute trailer of 'Cum Fly With Me!' being shown on two big screens, and said he'd enjoyed working on it. Tacklebox Productions' John Mason was biggin' it up and former 'Strictly Group' employee AJ was there with his camera, as was his Suf'Afrikn replacement JD.
Stripper and Strictly News film reviewer/columnist Solitaire did an impassioned performance of Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard as a one-woman show- Ok, that's a lie. She dressed up as a policewoman, took her clothes off and zipped around a pole, but it was certainly an impassioned performance nevertheless. Afterwards Strictly Broadband's Hellen (whose surname isn't Baque, much as I'd like it to be), who'd watched Solitaire's show with me, said how surreal seeing a colleague naked was. Then I pointed out Hellen's own performance-art career has included a certain amount of exposed flesh, such as being skewered with big hooks for a visceral stage show at last year's Skin Two Rubber Ball. In a Top Trumps game of 'weird stuff your workmates can watch you do', I think Hellen wins. Especially when she explained about a new show her group has planned, which features heavy translucent gunge from Japan and quite a lot of oozing about, I should think.
Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence, the longest name in porn, was in bubbly mood and I saw Daisy Rock and Rio Mariah amongst many others. I'm not very good at recognising actresses at the best of times, and changing hairstyles, hair colours, and the addition of clothes threw me many times. As I had passes to the Adults Only Show (October 5th to 8th at the NIA in Birmingham) to hand out to performers, I made a point of introducing myself to lots. Embarrassingly I mistook a cute soon-to-be-Doctor and her property developing chum as actresses, but they didn't seem to take offence. They were at the do with friends from Relish, so I guess they were take-it-in-their-stride kind of girls.
I spoke to fans too, and Luke from Croydon told me he was delighted to see Isabel [Ice, I reckon]. "It's been very good. I've enjoyed myself. It's great to be able to interact with stars you've only seen on screen before. To meet them as real people with real lives. I was particularly pleased to meet Cathy [Barry] Faye [Rampton] Wendy [Taylor, I think] - it's all been good!" Then some naughtiness broke out and we found ourselves distracted from the interview. Amongst the misbehaviour, and taking a very active role in it, was new girl Lacey McGuire. If a beautiful face and a perfect body bode well for a future in porn, and I think they do, she's a name to watch for. She was shortly off to LA to be massive, and although she looked younger she'd be celebrating her 21st birthday there. As I was told she'll be filming her first DP scene on her birthday, I hope someone gets her some lube as a present. A male performer at the event, also hoping to raise his profile was Demitri Delreo, who I was happy to give the benefit of my limited knowledge to as we passed on the stairs. At the bottom I met a frayed looking Jerry Barnett, who said, "I started drinking before everyone else! The official figure is 413 pre-sold tickets, plus some off the street. There's still some more girls to come- I've got texts saying 'Sorry we're running late. See you at 1.30'. Typical porn industry stuff! All profits are going to Cancer Research UK. In the past Wendy Taylor's organised these sorts of events and she felt Strictly News' involvement was pretty high profile so she and BGAFD let us get on with it in our way, and although it's not been promoted as a BGAFD event we're still all good friends."
As a rare opportunity for fans to meet their favourite actors and actresses, the event delivered on all its promises and I was thoroughly annoyed with myself for not driving into London to attend it, rather than taking the train. As it was, I had to leave at 11.30 just as Lala and Jan B were performing their strip act to an appreciative audience. It felt ridiculously early.
There comes a point at many social functions where I have to make a break to catch my train home. When I'm enjoying myself it can be a strain and I end up playing a version of Russian Roulette, with the prospect of missing my only way home as the bullet. Ten more minutes. Click. Five more minutes. Click. Just nip to the loo before I go. Click. Pause to say hi to someone I know… KazB and JJ, who both performed in my film (did I mention my film already?), were just arriving as I left, with him looking very smart, and her looking tiny and stunning in a sparkly outfit. I wish I could have chatted, or given them free passes to the Adults Only Show which I'd been giving to performers, but I just didn't have the time!
It may have all gone wrong after I left, but from my perspective of good music, totty, video-screen porn, happy people with bottled beer and profits to charity, it was a top night out. All in all, it was pretty much what you'd expect from a Summer Porno Party!