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Return to the TERMINAL page Return to the WORDS index Visit the OLD INDIE pages Start your TOUR of my Indie Magazine contributions
TERMINAL WORDS INDEX OLD INDIE PAGES START YOUR TOUR

Right: the Indie Archive: past stuff I've done for the mag:
Click for my last (greatest?) column for Indie Magazine!

Me, Paul Smith, with some close personal friends. I'm the one at the back with the genuine breasts.
How I became the Clarkson of the PC component and cable world, but without the jeans of curly hair. Or any hair:
It was while I was working for the comedy named Assmann Electronics in Watford in 1996 that I first met Dale Bradford, editor of Indie Magazine. At the time I was producing a series of adverts for the company, for inclusion in Indie. Dale and I got chatting and he asked me to do a bit for the magazine on the industry and thus the Tammy's tales from Telesales feature was born. It was crap, so I was soon writing as myself about the crazy world of I.T. To the right are links to my various submissions to the magazine since 1996. Please note, these are the pre-hacked-about-by-my-editor versions. The ones which appeared in the magazine were often shorter and less rude. Also, they were written for the I.T. trade, so if you don't get every in-joke, I'm sorry. Become an independent computer or console dealer and all will become clear, I'm sure. In October 2004 I began writing articles for the mag as well as columns. Sadly it all came to an end in December 2004 when the magazine was closed. Boo-hiss.
Me, Paul Smith, in an orange shirt. Again.Me, Paul Smith, molesting show girls while wearing an orange shirt. Again.Me, Paul Smith, molesting a show girl. Again-again!

1996-7: My Digitus adverts as featured in Indie
August '96: Playtesting the new 'Shake and Vomit' doll
September '96: Look dear, another suicide
October '96: ...the arm-growning-out-of-her-head girl
November '96: "I know you don't remember me..."
December '96: Champion chair-arm balancer.
September '97: Nope, I still can't find it. Dang.
October '97: What's wrong with Bungalows?
November '97: Have you checked my arm-pits?
December '97: Damn, damn, damn, damn...
1997-8: My 'Tammy's Tales From Telesales bits.
November '97: Tammy's Tales From Telesales #1
December '97: Tammy's Tales From Telesales #2
February '98: Tammy's Tales From Telesales #3
March '98: Tammy's Tales From Telesales #4
1998: Early stuff.
July '98: Paul's Piece #1
August '98: Paul's Piece #2
September '98: Paul's Piece #3
October '98: Paul's Piece #4
November '98: Paul's Piece #5
December '98: Paul's Soap Box
1999: The year of Millennium buggery and resignations.
January: There was no January 1999 edition.
February: "I RESIGN!"
March: The Moral Maze.
April: Everyone has their place.
May: Free things at Trade Shows.
June: The PC is dead.
July: I am Scum.
August: We have nothing to fear...
September: Just the fax ma'am, just the fax.
October: Things to try at home.
November: I went on holiday.
December: Pre-lennium Madness.
2000: The year of Xmas delights and bad sales people.
January: Room 101. Bozo customers.
February: Bozo Account Managers.
March: Trade-marked for life.
April: W-W-Why?
May: How did I get here?
June: Being Big.
July: Lovely Charlies.
August: Sony PrayStation.
September: Re-branding and e-Love.
October: Disappointment.
November: Faking it.
December: Christmas treats.
2001: The year of bad shops and exploding hard drives.
January: Fatal Hard Driving.
February: Urine and smiles.
March: Selling myself.
April: Future news.
May: It's been emotional.
June: Old & Smelly.
July: Not here to Console you.
August: The Yankee Dollar.
September: Hardware fondness.
October: ECTSssszzzzzz...
November: Choice is evil.
December: Those little things that say so much.
2002: The year of exploding cars and Management tiffs.
January: The subtle art of Management.
February: A rose by any other name...
March: Plug in, turn on, DV out.
April: The low-down on what's up.
May: It's a mad mad mad mad mad mad W-W-World.
June: X-Bo(llo)x?
July: My plans for a digital empire.
August: The (un)Wired Generation.
September: What's happening on the 'phone.
October: Evil green stuff in my pocket.
November: I come but once a year you know.
December: Commuter / Computer.
2003: The year of pervity and power-slides.
January: Minority Report.
February: The Oracle Speaks.
March: Component Cowboy.
April: What's in a name?
May: Scrapheap Challenge.
June: Happy Days
July: Selling fresh air.
August: I, Blagmeister.
September: Bug-gered to death.
October: Going back the hard way.
November: Captivated.
December: Cooking your PC for Christmas.
2004: The year of Archos and sad endings.
January: Whole new year, whole new gizmo!
February: Anti-Hero Kinda-Worship.
March: "I am not a twat, I am a human being!"
April: Greater than the sum of his parts.
May: Goolie cooking shame.
June: Summer time, and the living is eBay.
July: Fcuked I.T. - Right up.
August: Doom, gloom and wooden spoon.
September: My family and other computers.
October: Rushing in where Indie readers fear to tread.
November: Bump!
December: Knowing the price of nothing...
Indie articles:
October 04: Sub £100 retail Digital Cameras.
November 04: Changes to the DDA laws.
December 04: Christmas Gadgets.

BACKGROUND BOX: Indie Magazine was a monthly trade publication for independent computer and console retailers and had a readership of several thousand I.T. business people and professionals.

Legal notice - This page, inc. graphics and multimedia features are the intellectual property of Paul Smith and are protected by copyright. Last updated 19/04/04.