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July 2nd 2006. Not only my brother Adam's 37th birthday, but also the date of my first (and thus far only, but this could change) visit to Flaxbourne Farm. The gardens of this house near Apsley Guise (which in turn is near Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, UK) are open for charity three days-a-year, as part of the National Gardens Scheme. I was lucky enough to be there for one of them with my mum, uncle and aunt. It's a very strange and rather beautiful place, brim-full of the sort of whimsy I enjoy in garden design. My thanks and well done to the owners, Geoff and Davina, for showing this amazing slice of British eccentricity off.
• Deal or no deal? This phone tells you a lot about this place. Quirky yet classic design, and not something you see every day. • The Water Wheel wasn't running well when I saw it. It needed better bearings I think, or else it was off-balance, so the weight of water wasn't enough to turn it. • Beyond the shed the 'wheel is in is this wee bridge. Like many features in this garden, it wasn't actually needed - the stream it fords was a trickle in summer. • Waterwheel or Water Wheel? Either way, this is it, and the building it's halfway in, halfway out. I liked the glass bricks the tank below it was made of. • To help visitors work their way around the gardens helpful signs with 'place names' were put out. This one was one of my favourites. Names, that is, not signs. • The path to Woopi Hole. A sentence which may well only appear once in the whole of recorded history. And you saw it here first folks! • The Windmill is approx. 4m tall, and is one of the most dramatic features of the garden. It's certainly visible from most parts of it. • Crocodile Seat. One of the many curious things to discover in this two acre pocket wonderland is this croc chomping on a bone. But he's not alone... • The owner of the gardens is a real 'fun guy'. Several forms are repeated through the gardens, and mushrooms or toadstools is/are one of them. • The caravan of love. Was that The Smiths? Anyway, this colourful addition to the garden was home to a toy's picnic when I saw it. • A sign pointing towards it said Gypsy Caravan, yet no one tried to sell me lucky heather when I saw it. Cute though. • The castle even has a moat, and was built without a roof to bypass planning permission rules. The builder is a builder, and he knows about these things. • A cannon. There's not much more I can add. • Me 'in' the greek temple. Naturally. Doesn't everyone have one? • Another view of the castle, from inside it. There's a bridge to it, and the upper deck, where this shot was taken. • Zigzag bridge across one end of the main pond. Another glimpse into the mind of this garden's creator. Why go straight when you can go left then right? • A much more sensible bridge across the large pond, or little lake. The windmill in the background makes a change from your average garden gnome. • Adding some music, which no garden party is complete without, was the band. They did all the hits. • Wrecked boat. It was 'Deliverance' all over again in this part of the gardens, which had a bit of an african feel, what with the crocodile and everything... • The house at the heart of the garden's a bit more traditional.The indoor swimming pool's very nice though, and has touches in common with the garden. • Another view of the windmill, below a fierce July sun. With more wind, it will go around quite happily. • The other crocodile seat's on the house side of the pond. You can tell this garden was a big hit with the kids who came along to see it. • A view from the 'grotto'. Every garden needs a water feature, and this one has a waterfall falling over the entrance to a sort of vague fake cave. • Access to the grotto is via this archway. Most of the garden's architectural features have been rescued from one place or another, reminding of me Portmeirion. • Above the grotto, and forming its roof, is an observation platform. With Storks. They've built a nest on the chimney of the adjacent 'shed' section/building. • View from the top. Looking back to the house from this angle you can't see the windmill -out of shot to the right- or the castle -behind trees to the left. • Tucked away on the side of the house is this recovered portico. I suspect, in keeping with the whimsy and bluff inherent in this garden, it goes nowhere. • The greek temple again. These columns were discovered under bushes at a house where the garden's owner was working. I believe he got them cheap. • A closer view of the above. It's about now I put a joke about Grecian Urns in. • The Albatross. Don't shoot it! Hanging below a giant arch over the drive to the house is this wooden bird. What flavour is it? as Monty Python once asked. • Geoff, the owner, in his fine hat. His wife does all the hard work, of course, but he's the designed and does all the hard landscaping and building. • Hidden away to the left of the drive is a quiet part of the garden with a Japanese theme. The centrepiece is this bridge. • Another view of the bridge, complete with 'hanging thing'. I'm not at all sure if it's a lantern, or a bird feeder. Or a place for bats to rest after a busy evening. • I tend to find my way into photos when no one else is about. This is to show scale, and isn't evidence of some runaway ego or narcissistic problem. • If I'm honest, I felt this was one of the weaker features of the garden. At the entrance to the Japanese garden is this 'Easter Island Head' which I felt wasn't great. • Rusty the dog is the boss here, and was happy to let visitors know. He's a lucky little fellow to have such a wonderful place to patrol. • Mr Albert Ross again. You can see the cable helping to hold the arch up, as well as the cable for raising and lowering him. • At the end of the Alpine Garden, to the right of the drive looking at the house, is this little folly. Indeed, it's my long love of follies which endeared me here. • The zigzagging water feature of the Alpine Garden bursts from a rocky knoll. Well, trickles. In wetter weather it may well burst, but the summer had been hot. • Several tree stumps made interesting sculptural features around the garden. This is one of them - or is it a pile of them? • Another artistic element to what's a very artful garden to start with was this 'fan'. Eyecatcher or something for roses to grow up? I'm no expert, so I can't tell. • A view across the pond, with the grotto at the end, and the observation area above it. Amazing to think this is all in someone's private garden. Click here to see a 3.1Mb / 19 second Mpeg video taken from the top of the grotto, looking over the gardens. Or right-click and 'Save Target As...' to download it. Legal notice - This page, inc. graphics and multimedia features are the intellectual property of Paul Smith and are protected by copyright. Last updated 17/12/06.