paul smith's Snaps & Bytes e-home
August 1999: We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.
I heard the other day that the PC industry is incestuous. It came as something of a relief, because all this time I'd thought it was just me. I'd been worrying about it, and so had my sister.
Worry is a topic that seems close to Indies hearts at the moment. For 'close' read 'squeezing it in a kinda ice-cold claw of angst and stress'. Nostradamus (1503-1566) has put the wind up everyone with his eerily accurate visions of the future. When he wrote 'Bewaere thee counterfeit Soft of Ware, yea, for it be-'eth the work of thy Devilish minions' back in the sixteenth century, how could he have foretold the coming of CDR? If he's also right about the date of the End Of The World, shortly we can all forget about margins and over-heads and enjoy 'The Rapture' instead. Which will be nice.
Before Armageddon, it's that sunny-funny time of year again (maybe for the last time, so get out there and enjoy it!) when holidays beckon, and carefree, tanned 'n' smiling faces are everywhere. Except on you perhaps, because you might have more staff than customers and more bills than cash in the bank. A holiday could be a cruel fantasy and your face may just be pale 'n' distinctly smile-free. If these descriptions sound familiar, I feel for you, I really do. We've already had quite a few customers go down on us already this year. (I can't believe they let me get away with this filth). Some owed us money and some didn't, but I feel sorry for all of them. We all like a laugh when our competitors go to the wall, but it's a very different story when it's you and you're nose-to-nose with Herr Bankruptcy. For everyone who's said, "It's as dead as a Dodo. I'm going to throw the towel in and buy an ice-cream van" in the last few months, I have some words of comfort for you. You are not alone. Everyone (except us, naturally) is quiet. But hey! Your future isn't as dark as a solar eclipse, Christmas is just five short months away! And then it's time to party, party, and party! And no more millennium integer worries until the year 10,000, or if big N is to be believed, ever again!
Stating the obvious, number 37, from a series of 80.
This industry, like all retail, is in the summer doldrums. My brother is in the 'previously enjoyed' 2nd user Automobile industry and he tells me the only way to shift a motor at the moment is to give it away. And throw in twelve months tax, a new MOT and a free hour with a prostitute, with 'extras'. I choose to think he's kidding about the prostitute. The Dreamcast will help many, just as long as Virgin don't start swapping software titles for a packet of peanuts or doing something equally crazy and detrimental to the industry. Customers may love paying a mere £29.99 for a grade-A, 100% Columbian PSX title, but if you're making the price of a can of coke on each one your heart just isn't going to be in it, is it? Let's all pray for Sega salvation. In the meantime, just hang on in there, guys. The end of the world is nigh, but the meek will inherit the earth and when they do they'll still need I.T. solutions and games consols.
I treated myself the other day to a laptop. A Daewoo 486 DX4-75 sporting 20Mb of RAM, a 540Mb 'drive, external FDD and 4x speed parallel CD-ROM drive. It's got a dual scan colour screen, a PCMCIA modem. It's sub A4 size and even came with a nice padded carry-case. Now, I reckon that's got to be comfortably worth £300 plus the VAT with a three-month warranty, retail. I bought mine out of my local paper for £160, in theory saving a whopping £200. Now, if I was smart I'd open a PC shop and deal in quality used gear and upgrades. It may be the tacky end of the market, but like 2nd user software, it's one of the few fields where you'll still find that pesky profit margin. If I've missed the boat with this acute observation, I hear someone recently paid good money to sign the Power Rangers (remember them?) for a range of games. Three years ago, guys, maybe. What will it be next? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the N64? The Flumps interactive CD-ROM? Muffin the Mule - Blood Rampage, on the PSX? Actually, I like the sound of that last one. Anyone got the number for the BBC's product licensing department?