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September 2002: Paul Smith - On what could be happening on the other end of the 'phone.
Quite a few computer businesses have had the good taste and wisdom to employ me before going bust, yet the working conditions I've enjoyed with them have differed wildly. I've sat in a leather swivel seat, over-looking the hurly-burly of a Watford industrial estate. I've been one of the Pod People (the circular desks we worked from were known as pods. I always considered myself too different from the others to be a pea) with views of cows and sheep and, bizarrely, Hughie helicopters during the filming of Saving Private Ryan. I've lost all sense of feeling in my feet working in a converted cowshed in the depths of a Hertfordshire winter and I've slaved over a hot 'phone in a room the size of two football pitches. I've even told members of the public that the Atari Jaguar was going to be around for ages, but now, years later, I've learnt to live with that private shame.
Variously, there's been free coke on-tap, tea if you bought your own bags in and a machine that would tease me by dangling my chosen chocolaty comestible (usually a Maverick Bar, in keeping with my personality) just out of reach rather than vending it like a good vending machine should.
To reward you for sticking with this particular column offering for this long, I'm going to come to the point now. Right now. Given that the situation at the other end of that telephone line could be heaven or hell, we can postulate that the happy sounding person on the 'phone when you call a supplier might be happy sounding for three main reasons, thus:
i) They are happy.
ii) They have been told to sound happy.
iii) They recorded their voicemail message when they were happy.
Therefore, before criticising your distribution contact for sounding cheesed off (and I guess being human we all do from time to time) consider for a moment the pressurised environment that they may be speaking from. They may be that most rare of specimens: a blissfully relaxed 'free-range' salesperson. On the other hand they may be working from the psychological equivalent of a veal crate. I've been and done both and I have to say, on balance, I prefer the atmosphere of the former. However, with the prevailing cold wind blowing last weeks trade-newspapers across the I.T. marketplace, the pressure for results is on everyone, at every level, and kick-back-and-chill-Winston-happy- go-lucky salespeople are going to go the way of the dinosaurs. As their revenue food supply grows scarcer they're going to have to make way for a more ravenous, mammalian, breed of sales rodent. Ones with high heart rates, big ears and furry coats. Perhaps I've used one simile too many there?
To reiterate all the above in one short and punchy sentence: When you ask your account manager how they are, and they reply, "I mustn't grumble", it's worth keeping in mind what that reply actually says, and so please be nice to him or her.
Please e-mail your offers of exciting jobs to Paul Smith to Info@snapsandbytes.co.uk.
500 wise words on my world Dale. I trust you find them pleasantly pleasing.
Cheers
Paul