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November 2001: Paul Smith... On giving the customer exactly what you want.
Henry Ford had it right when he said, "Any colour you like, so long as it's black". It may not sound like one of histories all time great advertising strap-lines, but the success of the Model T suggests it wasn't too shabby. Even my Bond Bug was sold under the slogan 'Any colour you like as long as it's Tangerine!'
I'm saying choice isn't always a good thing. It can confuse and confuddle. Intel or AMD? PS2 or X-Box? HP or Epson? Choice forces one to make a decision, when sometimes all we want is to be told what we want. This flaw in human nature is put to work by governments worldwide. Take this column for example. I came to it thinking I'd do a piece on Buying Groups or on how to get the most from your Account Manager. As you can see, in the end I couldn't decide on either, so decided on neither. If Editor Dale had said, "Paul, for the love of God, just do something insightful on telephone hold systems", I'd have been happy. It seems I'm a sheep at heart. And so are the great unwashed.
Where's the harm in offering only one model of PC? Sure, if people ask for a bigger hard drive, more RAM or a faster CPU then they're options, but as standard, it's available in 'any colour you like so long as it's beige'. Imagine it: As the Billy walks in, they see a single PC under a sign which reads 'THIS IS THE ONLY ONE WE DO. IT'S THE BEST ALL-ROUND DEAL WE CAN OFFER'. You can be sure they'd not feel intimidated or overwhelmed. There's nothing as nasty as an extensive range of complex options, with myriad permutations, for putting you off a purchase. Take mobile phones. I don't own one because I have no idea where to start, but if there was one network, one model of phone, one tariff and one price, I could just tick a box marked: [YES]
Before you pooh-pooh my idiotic ideas as the fevered fantasies of a mad man, think about the i-Mac, which unarguably saved Apple. Here the purchaser is faced with a single choice: What damn colour to buy it in.
One last point. If, like a local computer store of mine, your idea of in-store advertising is a selection of fluorescent stars from Fellows with the word SALE written on them badly in Biro, then you, like them, have a lot to learn about the art of modern product promotion. Also, don't ask three times in the space of five minutes if I need any help, don't stare at me as if you expected me to slip a copy of XP into my pants at any moment (I wasn't shoplifting, promise) and don't call, "Thanks", after me in a sarcastic tone of voice when I leave without making a purchase. If that sort of shit happens to me, I simply exercise my choice, and shop elsewhere.
500 words hand-rolled by dusky Cuban maidens, Dale.
Peace, we out.
Paul