IN THE MEDIA If you don't care for a little bit of Moby as you surf, an off button is provided below. Early beginnings. Click to read a funny (and almost totally fabricated) story about me and my escapologist buddy Steve Barton which appeared in The Bucks Herald a long long time ago. My bit for a trade rag. Please visit The Indie Magazine Pages on the main site to see my stunning column, which has featured in it since November 1997. Other published works. Why not visit The Bond Bug-gery Page on the main site to see a centre-spread article they had in the July/August '96 issue of the owners club magazine. Or check out The Dog Faced Boy Page to see what Top Gear magazine made of my comments about one of their main contributors... My shocking life of crime! May 2002: Click to see my appearance in The Court Report column in this newspaper cutting. Big Lock-Up with Red Devil Storage and Mix96 On Monday May 27th 2002 Mix96 (Aylesbury's local indie radio station, named after their 96.2fm broadcasting frequency) was due to 'turn the key, bolt the doors' and throw me into a disused shop in our local shopping centre with the nine complete strangers below for the Big Lock Up, their version of the popular 'Big Brother' TV show. Mark Ben Rachel Paul/Peppi Tina The Sponsors Veronica Lee Chris Phil Maria The Judges It was a knock-out competition held in association with the nice people from Red Devil Storage. I was going to try to outwit my opponents over six days of cunning challenges & testing tasks. The winner walked away with £2,000 to spend in Friars Square Shopping Centre. Hover over the faces above to learn their relative positions, who the winner was and some other 'information'. Click here to see how my local paper covered this 'human-interest' story. 'We're hoping for clashes', they said. This is the old School Uniform shop on Bourbon Street in Aylesbury. It was due to be my home for a while in May 2002. I paid the 'house' a visit on the second day. And this is what I found. Separated from society for a few short hours the contestants had been reduced to removing their footwear and donning head-bands. Scary stuff. Standing outside the shop I'd so cruelly been 'barred' from, I couldn't help my true feelings just showing through my usual mask of happiness. By day five things in the 'fish-tank' seemed to have taken a turn for the bizarre. I'm not sure if these was the result of a challenge, a pagan celebration or just plain good-old-fashioned boredom. Anyway, back to the beginning. I'd made it through a selection evening into the final ten, which was announced on the radio on a Friday morning. Then disaster struck! Although I thought I'd been granted the time off work to take part - It's a long story which I'll not go into here, but it involves a very nasty woman with selective memory loss. Also lies and deceit. And not even my lies and deceit for once - when I actually tried to book the holiday, I was told I couldn't. Bummer. Thus, I was caught between taking part and being playfully sacked for having unauthorised time off, or at very least having to resign from my job, or pulling out, looking stupid and, by way of a booby-prize, keeping an income. I wasn't keen on either option. I was in a lose/lose situation. Click the coins below to link to 1.8Mb .MP3 files in order to discover my innovative approach to resolving this sticky problem, whilst satisfying my honour and making an interesting radio feature. If you don't have a software player for MP3 files on your PC or Mac, you can get one by visiting www.Winamp.com The Big Toss part one. Please play in sequence! The Big Toss part two. YOU CAN NOW CLOSE THIS WINDOW TO RETURN TO THE MAIN SITE