THE NAKED PHOTO ALBUM
- IF YOU WANT TO GET -
AHEAD... GET A HAT!
This page has some pictures that
may impress upon you the importance of a good hat if you want to get ahead. Plus, close contact with hats can make you mad.
When you're finished with this page, use the links below to find more stuff:
PAUL'S THOUGHT: I LEARNT AN IMPORTANT LESSON TODAY, AND THIS TIME NO ONE HAD TO DIE.
Good hat/bad hat. This is open for debate, but I personally think the hat would
look better on the head of a Peruvian high in it's native Andes.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: PAUL SMITH: A MAN FOR ALL SEASONINGS.
A Coif, for those of you not familiar with archaic hats, was a close fitting cap of
cloth worn in the middle ages. And doesn't this one (it's Gavin's. A long story - See below) look beautiful on me? Also note the Medieval beard and
thousand yard stare I'd developed for just this sort of moment.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: MY MIND IS A BLANK. SORRY.
At the Towersey Festival (formally the Towersey Folk Festival,
held in the village of Towersey near Thame in Oxfordshire every year) in 2002 I tried a selection of hats on before plumping
for a blue one with three long 'tails' to arse about with.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: DITTO.
In this animation from my Web-Cam Page,
you can see me wearing a cowboys hat, a balaclava, a baseball cap, a cycle helmet and a dark wig.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: I'M GOING TO COME BACK TO YOU ON THESE.
While on holiday on the Greek island of Rhodes I hired a scooter. Although many
people didn't bother with a helmet, I felt it was wise to wear one (most of the time. click here to
see me being less sensible on my moped) and the picture above is me with what I came to call 'My unhappy Helmet Face'.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: REALLY. MY COMEDY MUSE IS ON HOLIDAY.
I've a mate called Gavin who is a member of a medieval re-enactment group called
The Lion Rampant. Basically this involves donning chain mail and a suitable hat and attacking friends with a 4 foot long broad sword.
And you know, usually he wouldn't say boo to a goose. He has been known to worry sheep, but that's quite a different business... Cutting to the
point, he was lent this hat and I borrowed it just to take this photograph. God help me.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: IF YOU USE THE WORD EMPOWERED
IN FRONT OF ME, I WILL ATTACK YOU.
In September 2003 I
was in a warehouse of budget things in a remote city in the west country when I saw this mask.
I wore it around the shop for quite some time and no one said a damn thing!
That's the west country for you. Laid back, or just infested by Werewolves
to the point of boredom. Who's to say? You can make up your own damn mind, lazy bugger that you are.
PAUL'S THOUGHT: FECK.
This page isn't all about me and my hats. It's about silly hats in general. Most hats
are silly, I think. Baseball caps are. Showercaps are and any hat worn in a car with a roof has to be silly.
Right: A shot of a guy called Jermaine who I used to work with. We were karting and the management suggested if we didn't want to get lice from their
scuzzy crash-helmets, we should wear these hairnets. There were few takers.
This picture also appears on my portraits page.
Click here to return to the Naked Photo Album index page.