THE NAKED PHOTO ALBUM - TWO GO MAD - IN MADEIRA This page has some pictures taken when Two went Mad in Madeira! It was my 1998 holiday to a Portuguese paradise, complete with near-death experience!

When you're finished with this page, use the links below to find more stuff: When I was young... Red Hot and Cool in Cyprus! Who are you calling a cycle-path? It's true, I am a real wheel nut! I work(ed) hard for a living. How do you get two Whales in a Mini...? If you want to get ahead... Wild-Wild-West-Country. Two go Mad in Madeira! Other fun-fun-fun in the sun-sun-sun. Every album has them! Home sweet home. Just a stones throw away... Holiday North of the Border. So far, Herstmonceux good. Barrr-Ceeee-Lo-Naaaa! Rhodes signs. Milan and/or bust. Paul: A man and his women. Back to the main Naked Photo Album index page.

PAUL'S THOUGHT: LIVE YOUR LIFE, NOT OTHER PEOPLES.

Ah! Madeira. A wonderful, mostly unspoilt Portuguese Island off of the coast of Africa. I had two wonderful weeks here. Above, me being held up by something tropical whilst in the Botanical gardens above Funchal, the islands capital. Since there are no golden beaches (the island was volcanic, so all the beaches are black) none of the 'riff-raff' element comes here. The downside is the average visitor is in their seventies and just wants to nap. It's not a cheap holiday destination, but it is unusual and very wild and beautiful in parts. Beware, they all drive like loons! Places to visit: Oh, everywhere! Don't miss the palace gardens at Monte, the Levarda walkways all across the island (especially near Rabacal) or the lookout point above the Valley of the Nuns. Quite spectacular!

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PAUL'S THOUGHT: GLUE IS STICKY FOR A REASON.

A shot taken in the Casino Gardens in Monte. I'm starting to go on a bit now, aren't I?

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PAUL'S THOUGHT: REMEMBER, ALL WISDOM COMES FROM GOATS.

In the north of the Island the traditional houses are built to take the winds coming off of the Atlantic. This is one of the ones built for tourists to gawk at. I had to wait an hour to take this picture because coach parties kept turning up.

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PAUL'S THOUGHT:SOME PEOPLE SAY 'MAYBE' WHEN
THEY MEAN 'NO'. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

Left: Monte...Blah, blah, blah... Right: In a shock change, here we see Judith admiring the view across The Valley of the Nuns, which sounds to me for all the world like the title of a very 3rd rate porno movie. And who knows, perhaps it is?

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PAUL'S THOUGHT: ALL FRUIT IS BROWN, SOONER OR LATER.

Left: On the only flat bit of the island, Judith regretted never having bought a head scarf. Right: On a not-at-all-flat bit of the island (the path between it's two highest points actually) Judith pauses to ask if I'm going to bother following her down some steep steps with near-vertical multi-thousand feet drops on either side... Of course I did. Such things don't bother me! (gulp)

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PAUL'S THOUGHT: YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH ADVICE.
DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING LIED TO?

The gardens at you-know-where. Go to Madeira. Go now. Don't look back.

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