The Naked 'Photo Album - Just a stones throw away...
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THE NAKED PHOTO ALBUM
- JUST A STONES* -
THROW AWAY...

This page has some pictures of things that are just up the road. Or down it, if you're coming from the other direction. Either way, they're not far from me.

When you're finished with this page, use the links below to find more stuff:

When I was young...
Red Hot and Cool in Cyprus!
Who are you calling a cycle-path?
It's true, I am a real wheel nut!
I work(ed) hard for a living.
How do you get two Whales in a Mini...?
If you want to get ahead...
Wild-Wild-West-Country.
Two go Mad in Madeira!
Other fun-fun-fun in the sun-sun-sun.
Every album has them!
Home sweet home.
Just a stones throw away...
Holiday North of the Border.
So far, Herstmonceux good.
Barrr-Ceeee-Lo-Naaaa!
Rhodes signs.
Milan and/or bust.
Paul: A man and his women.

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PAUL'S THOUGHT: COLIN HUNT. NOT JUST A COCKNEY INSULT.
The Colin Hunt Observatory, near Upper Winchenton, Bucks. And the Sun, the central body of our solar system, some 93 million miles further away.

The Colin Hunt observatory off of the main (ha!) Upper Winchendon to Chearsley road is the home (along with an ancient and well-patched hut in the same remote field) of the AAS. That's the Aylesbury Astronomical Society to uninformed people.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: DON'T WORRY, YOUR SECRET
IS SAFE WITH ME. FOR A SMALL FEE.
The Dinton Folly. Closer to Ford than to Dinton, but that's names for you. It could have been the Ford Folly, but it's not, and there's no point in moaning about it. Also the Dinton Folly, but viewed from the other side. Not far from the Dinto Folly is...well, Gibraltar.

Left & Centre: Not far from the observatory above is this, the Dinton Folly. Built a long time ago by a man, it still stands besides the main Aylesbury to Thame road. I was used to hold a display of things, but has long since lost its roof. And floors. However, this seems to have added to the atmosphere. I wonder if there is an inverse floor-to-atmosphere formula?

Right: Just up the road from the Dinton Folly is...well...Gibraltar.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: I SHOT THE SHERIFF, BUT I DIDN'T SHOOT THE DEPUTY. MUCH.
The follies of Man The view from the folly in the gardens of Hartwell House 'So-called' Egyptian Spring Paul poses with a passing Church

Within walking distance of my home is Hartwell House, a very posh hotel where like likes of you (I'm assuming you're not a member of the landed gentry) and I are not made to feel too welcome. Unless we've won the lottery that is. Even then I suspect we'd be merely tolerated as 'vulgar lower-class new-money' rather than made to feel wanted and accepted. But hey, in the immortal words of Ronnie Corbett, "I know my place".

Left: A charming little folly tower on the wooded grounds of Hartwell House hotel.

Left-of-centre: 'Garden Pathy'. This is the view through one of the windows of the folly tower.

Right-of-centre: The so-called Egyptian Spring on a country lane behind the hotel is a striking example of no known architectural style. Sticking some iffy looking hieroglyphs on a concrete bus shelter doesn't make it egyptian!

Right: Here I pose with a passing church. This is in the grounds of Hartwell House and was taken moments before I was asked what I thought I was doing.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: WHEN YOU'RE STATING THE OBVIOUS, DO SO WITH A KNOWING SMILE.
One picture not taken by me, but only because I wouldn't be born untill some seventy years later. The ruins of the church are within an iron fance which can be seen in the picture above. It feels odd using the same gate that's show in it... Geocacher, I.

The story of old St. Mary's church in Stoke Mandeville, near Aylesbury, is a chilling one. It fell into disuse towards the end of the 19th century as the village extended away from it, towards the town, and a new St. Mary's was built next to a main road junction some way away. The church continued to stand until the late 40's or early 50's, when the army blew it up after some local children were killed by falling masonry here. Once you know this story, this remote, abandoned churchyard take on an extra sinister air. I don't suggest you visit it alone, or without silver bullets, holy water, garlic or a stake. No point in taking unnecessary chances...

Left: The church as it appeared in about 1900. Note the fence, which is still there.

Centre: The site today. Totally covered in trees, yet many gravestones remain, and the land is still consecrated.

Right: Geocaching is a sort of 'treasure hunting' hobby which uses the internet and GPS handsets to direct players to hidden 'caches' of trinkets. So there you go. You learn something new every day. Here I am, looking like Uncle Fester from The Addams Family again, which is sort of fitting.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US? EH? WHAT IF.
An abandoned(?) Landrover on the path to Fleet Marston church. I blend in inside Fleet Marston church. Lost souls rove the land at Fleet Marston.

Set back from the main road from Aylesbury to Bicester, the A41, is an unregarded clump of trees which contain a disused church. A few houses are dotted about, remains of the once prosperous village of Fleet Marston. The population fell through the floor here during the 17th century, and no one is quite sure why.

Left: An artistic negative picture of a car I passed on the way to the church.

Centre: The key to get into this disused church is kept at the farm shop, a few hundred yards up the road towards Waddesdon. It's worth borrowing it if you can.

Right: In this strange, lonely spot, and with 28 Days Later still fresh in my mind (a 'post-apocolyptic' film) it was sobering to see this Landrover left on the path to the church, which can just be seen in the trees ahead.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: "An I.Q. of 125? He can't even spell I.Q."
Sun reflected from the towers windows, against a stormy sky The tower at the cold black heart of Aylesbury The sun sets over Aylesbury. The office block at dusk.

Aylesbury.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
My Jaguar at Stowe Judith relaxing at Stowe A bridge at Stowe My kit car at Stowe

Stowe House.

A couple of miles north of Buckingham is Stowe House, which is a famous public school with grounds managed by the National Trust. It's one of those places I try to visit regularly as it always leaves me with a feeling of well-being (not least because I sneak in over the wall - or more accurately, Ha-ha - and save myself some money.)

Click here to see a whole page dedicated to this amazing property.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: YOU CAN LEAD AN IDIOT TO SCHOOL,
BUT YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM THINK.
The view of Ellesborough church and the Vale of Aylesbury from half way up Beacon Hill. Beacon Hill - The Chilterns as seen from the large tower in the middle of Aylesbury. Coombe hill - the highest viewpoint on the Chilterns - and the monument which tops it.

Aylesbury might be a hole [as seen here (18+)] but the nearby hills - the Chilterns - are lovely. They're Chalk Downs and support many rare species, plus the lesser-spotted Chiltern Sculpture Trail.

Left: The view of Ellesborough church from half way up Beacon Hill. David Jason lives somewhere around here. Lucky bugger.

Centre: This is the hill beyond Ellesborough as seen from the County Council Offices Tower in the middle of Aylesbury.

Right: A picture taken from the shade of one of the trees on top of Beacon hill. You can see the monument on top of Coombe hill in this shot. Chequers is visible from this point, as is a whole lot of heavy looking security equipment, as you can imagine. Foreigner governments may contact me for details. Have your chequebooks ready.


PAUL'S THOUGHT: I KNOW IT'S JUST A WATER TOWER.
BUT WHAT A WATER TOWER!
Pink tower? Sounds rude.Mursley tower? Sounds a bit,er, geographical.Alien tower? Sounds like a load of old trip(od) to me.Distant tower? Sounds a bit far-out to me.
Leaf tower? Sounds... Stupid, frankly.Shadow tower? Sounds a bit 'dark'.Woodland tower? Sounds like something to spot forest fires from.Sky tower? Sounds like the guy off of the Police Academy movies. Oh no, that was 'Hightower'.

Top left: Now there's something you don't see every day; A big pink tower.

I took this shot of the water-tower in Mursley near sunset. I really love this structure and how it seems to look very different at different times of day. It can loom against a stormy sky as I drive past it, or seemingly hover on the horizon like some tripod visitor from another world.

Top-left-a-bit: There's not mush-room...

From this angle you can see the concrete underside of the main tank, complete with radial spars and cross-bracing. Those may-or-may-not be the correct technical terms, but I like them anyway.

That's just the kinda guy I am.

Top-middle-really: Watchtower? Yes, but what's it watching?

In this shot the tower seems to take on a sinister air. Maybe it was all in my mind, but I could have sworn it was turning to follow me as I cycled past it, that unseasonably hot day in 2001... "The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million-to-one, he said..."

Top right: It's a long shot, but it might just work...

Across the field from the cycle-track I was following with Judith from Winslow to Milton Keynes I saw it. Alone. Proud. Defiant. Poetic. Isolated. Unobtainable. Lofty. Stark. Questioning. Lost. Stranded. Verbose.

Bottom left: Leaf it to Beaver.

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Bottom-left-a-bit: A-sun-arise early in the morning.

One day I reached Mursley ahead of schedule so had a few minutes to play with the tower and my new Fuji Finepix 6900 Zoom digital camera. Oh the joy of taking six mega-pixel TIFF files! The tingling pleasure of 17Mb uncompressed images! And the unparalleled pleasure of having no one say, "You need to get out more often", because I was out!

Bottom-right-a-bit: What's that?

Six times optical zoom and some verdant flora of the English Countryside (plus some crappy bloody power-lines) give a great remote view of this enigmatic structure. People have told me that taking pictures of a water tower is a bit odd. The same people then put leaves in their mouth and set fire to them. So I guess oddness is all relative.

Bottom right: A 'quite-nice-I-think' photograph.

Not only is it a fine structure, it's old too. It was hit by an English bomber during W.W.II and, tragically, the crew were killed. Sorry to finish on a depressing note, but them's the facts. If you want to see it for yourself, It's a few miles south of Milton Keynes in Buckinghamshire, on the outskirts of a village called Mursley.

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* Although, which specific member of the band has yet to be made clear.