Being a
Wicken Man allows me to burn one 'Christian Copper*' yearly, transmogrify the dead into animals and dress up
like a Fool any time I want to. Which, as you can no-doubt imagine, are damn handy rights to have. I make a point of trying
to exercise them whenever I can.
If you're scratching your head and thinking I've eaten one piece of mouldy bread too many, then you've obviously not heard of
The Wicker Man, a (so-called) cult (so-called) horror film made by British Lion in late 1972. It stared Christopher Lee
as Lord Summerisle, Edward Woodward as the policeman, Howie and Ingrid Pitt as a librarian with Nazi hair. It also famously
features Britt Eklands breasts and her body-doubles bottom. Who could ask for more? Well, there is more!
See snails 'making-out' (on the 'directors cut version') and
hear some remarkable music by the late Paul Giovanni.
Admire pregnant women frolicking between apple trees in blossom.
Gasp as Edward Woodward as Sargent Howie gets paint on his hands.
Knot your brows as Producer Peter Snell and Director Robin Hardy take you for a
romp through the complex moral question of Human Sacrifice.
Swoon as you discover just who is protected by the ejaculation of serpents...
Well, it's a wonderful film (and I'll kill in cold blood any man who argues otherwise,
so don't say you've not been warned when I come at you with a sharpened Anthony Shaffer [who also penned the excellent 'Sleuth']
script during a pub brawl over it) and it deserves a better write-up than I feel able to grant it here.
Never-the-less, below are some intriguing audio clips and stills from the feature, plus links to
far-far better efforts to explain what the hell it's all about than I feel obliged to make. HOWEVER!
Many of these sites give the whole darn crazy story away, so if you've not seen it, I'd recommend buying
(or at least hiring) it first, and reading about it later.
Paul Smith - A Man of Wyckene - January 20th 2003.
*He must be a virgin though. An important detail.
